Growing up my mom stayed at home with my sister and I until we were 13 and 14 yrs old. As a girl my house was the place where other neighborhood kids would hang out because there was a mom home offering us snacks and "mom warmth". My mom was a room parent and made homemade meals most nights of the week. When she started working things slowly began to change. My mom was so exhausted from working all day I started to feel like I was no longer a priority. Meals were frozen or fend for yourself and school was something we rarely had time to discuss. Kids who used to come around because a mom was home were now teenagers and came around because a mom was not home. I shudder to think of the trouble we found and how easy it was to placate my overly exhausted mother.
I am now a grown woman with two kids of my own; I have a 7 and 1 yr old. My husband went back to school before our son was born, and I worked for the first two years of my son's life. For me, those were the two most stressful years of my life. I went back and forth feeling guilt ridden from not being there for him and guilt ridden when I couldn't wait to get back to work. It was also exhausting as someone still had to clean the bathrooms, do the laundry, make the meals, do the shopping, etc., and we couldn't afford help.
I now stay at home, and it took some getting used to. It can be under stimulating and boring; I do question my choice at times. When my son made a comment that only daddies work it was shocking. However, I can't imagine doing anything else with my life.
I had these kids and I want to raise them myself. I am grateful to be home when my son forgets something for school, and I am able to run it up to him. When the baby is sick there isn't the debate of who has to take time off from their job. I feel lucky that the choice to stay home is mine. For so many moms out there the choice is not their own, as was the case for my mom.
Calling anyone a name like lazy or selfish is in bad form, and there are better ways to express one's opinions or feelings. As moms we need to support each other. Your child may be the one spending time at my house while you are at work and my child may be the one listening to you on career day and seeing the possibilities.
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