When Teen Bullying Doesn't 'Get Better': The Deadly Consequences
Monday, October 03, 2011
Anderson introduces the Rodemeyers to the Jacobsens, another family mourning the loss of their son to suicide over bullying, in hopes that these families can support each other as they grieve. Anderson also speaks with a bullying survivor, Emily Carey and her mother, Carla, about how she persevered and ultimately overcame the emotional distress.
Plus, Dr. Dorothy Espelage provides information on what parents and the community can do to help prevent bullying, and how you can tell if something is going on with a child.
Community Question
What are you, your school and your community doing to stomp out bullying?
Join the conversation.
Filed Under: Episodes
Comments
I seen that Anderson was doing a show on Bullying just wanted to know if I missed it or if it hasn't happened yet and I'm not sure either if it was on Anderson 360... or his show on NBC can you please tell me
i saw the bullying episode and my son was bullyed because of his name and i told him to defend himself and he did and was exspell i went to the school and complained and the bullying stop, what i have found out is that the one bullying is coming from a disfunctional home and they are not getting attention from their parents and are not happy and are taking aggression on the less intimidating and guess what it is a lot of kids the old saying is "it starts at home" parents are not teaching their kids to have respect for one another and my daughter is a teacher and she was bullied and the student was expell from the school. Parents are not teaching them the values that are important in life.
There are some teachers that tolerate bullying of other students and namely the bullying of special education students.
I am a father who is trying to advocate for my son who has a rare form of epilepsy has called Landau Kleffner Syndrome that is often mistaken for Autism. The Puyallup School District took full advantage of our son’s inability to self report of the bullying, harassment, abuse and discrimination he endured daily at school. Our son is now 20 years old and suffers from severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that his doctors’ state is a result of the treatment he endured at school. The disregarded his sensory disabilities and allowed other students to upset him. The current system that is in place for parents to remedy bullying, abuse, harassment and discrimination claims is severely skewed to protect school districts from litigation, from this process to the judges that preside over the cases they all protect the school districts, why not their paycheck comes from the same source, the state. When special education students are under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), parents are first required to exhaust all their administrative remedies required by the IDEA before they can bring civil action. This process is emotionally and financially exhaustive and most parents of special needs children are of one income households. We have exhausted this process and in each I would love to forward you my declaration that was filed in our appeals, with the Superior Court and the 9th Circuit Court.
Richard Chadwell...How DARE you belittle the parents. You have NO idea what they, as parents are going thru. Your message was HARD to read as your SPELLING is HORRIBLE. I hope you NEVER have to go thru what these parents did. And, PLEASE---next time you want to "write" something, use spell checker. It just goes to show what you really don't know much of....
I am Ashley Billisano's grand mother. she took her owen life due to depeshion from being sexuly abuded from he step father Al Leskinen with id still in prisson. And father John billasano.. whith has not yet been prossicuded/ She left a letter stating why she took her own life. she was made fun of in school called names/i would like to tell her story on your show. chanel-26,the todays show, the spansh channel in houston has aired it.i injoy wathing your show and i think you can get Asly's message accross too all teens going though this. please contact me or my daoughter Tiffany 261-302-8335..
I am so sorry for the families that have lost loved ones due to bullying. I cannot fathom how people can be so cruel, how children could be so cruel. Bullying is horrible, I had to live through bullying as a teenager. Not only is there verbal and physical bullying, but there is also sexual bullying. When all these are combined, I can understand suicide, or as the young lady did to cope, cutting. I used to cut when I was younger, I would be called names, tripped, hit, and then by the some people groped sexually. I can remember standing by my locker, then one of the bullies coming up behind me, rubbing against me, groping me, pushing my books out of my hands, and then walking away while his friends laughed. Nothing is said, because you are afraid that it will make them bully you even more, you try to ignore it, and go on with your day, but there is only so much ignoring you can do. That was 15 years ago. Now it must be much worse with computers, and social networking sites being involved in bullying too. It must be stopped, and I believe it starts at home. Teach your child what love, respect, and empathy is, and they will think twice before hurting another person's feelings.
My condolences for Jamey and Kameron and other victims of bullying...
I was also bullied for 4 or so years and managed to survive eventhough i don't know how i did.
the most painful thing when you get bullied is that you are alone and suffocating by yourself.
nobody is there for you and nobody will lend their shoulders for you to cry on.
however believe that you will one day have that person who would lend their shoulders to you and you will also be that person.
Fight against life and live on to console and be important to someone. Be the winner.
It's terrible to hear how our young people have lost hope. My prayers go out to the Rodemeyers, Jacobsens and every family who has to deal with a tragic loss of a child.
On Anderson Cooper's recent CNN Special about Bullying, Dr. Phil said we need to change our perspective on how we view the victim and the bully. We've been looking at the bully as a criminal, but both the bully and the one being bullied need help.
I am seeking to Stomp Out Bullying through my young-adult novel, Speedsuit Powers (2009) and film adaptation(releasing 2012), which addresses this very issue. It's a story about a 14 year old boy who moves from the suburbs to the inner city and encounters a school bully. He must figure out how to handle the situation.
The story focuses on conflict resolution, gift/ and talent development, overcoming family trauma, mentoring and a number of other issues that are relevant to what our young people are facing.
I remember what it was like to be a teenager; I attempted suicide after graduating from high school back in 1992. While bullying was not the direct cause of my attempt, it did play a part in my negative self-image. (So much so, that I incorporated it into my novel).
It truly hurts when I hear about a young person who commits suicide because of bullying - feeling like their life won't get any better. They need to know that there are other options available to them. And we, as a society, need to find ways to get "ahead" of this epidemic that's destroying the lives of our youth (bullied, bully and bystander alike).
You can find out more information at www.speedsuitpowers.com
57 years ago, I stood by while a fellow student was maliciously bullied by an entire class for a full school year. I wanted to intervene but didn't. As an 11 year old student, I was afraid of becoming a victim myself.
28 years ago, I failed again when one of my own students was being taunted and abused by his fellow classmates. I tried to help, but as his sixth grade teacher, I didn't really know how. I talked with his parents. They tried to help as well. That 11 year old child, finally collapsed on the playground. He was treated for a bleeding ulcer.
I watched your program last night and am grateful that you are addressing this terrible problem. But I was appalled that seemingly, most of the adults you interviewed seemed to be as much at a loss as I was when I was teaching school.
The biggest problem with bullying is that victims generally have no support from their peers. They believe that if they "tell" an adult, it will just make matters worse and frequently it does.
But your program gave me an idea!
SUGGESTION: Schools need to provide a "club" or class for STudents Against Bullying (STAB)....with T-shirts!! It should be student run and faculty sponsored. Those who want to be "interveners" should be encouraged to start the group with invitations to those who are victims. Resources, i.e. qualified adults from the community, should be invited as speakers to educate the students on proper intervention, understanding, and effective ways to handle the abuse. Parents and teachers should be invited to attend, LISTEN, and ASK QUESTIONS.
Parent-Teacher Organizations should follow up with forums for the adults.
At the Junior High/Middle School and High School levels, such a class could/should provide credit hours in Sociology, Psychology or some related subject or as an elective.
This action would immediately give students who care, a non-threatening opportunity to reach out to victims. It would give victims a peer group. It could educate an entire community.
Thank you for trying to make a difference and "Keeping them honest."
I was bullied as a child because of my disability, but I overcame that. My daughter was bullied in school and on the school bus so bad, she would walk home if I did not pick her up. She would also fake being sick to stay home from school.She was bullied because of her weight. This was years ago, but it seems not much has changed since then in the schools. We talked to the school bus driver and he just made fun of her. I finally had to talk to the Vice Principle about it, but nothing ever was done about it. My daughter just dropped out of school. Thank God she is alright now
and has a wonderful life. I pray that there can be something done to stop the bullying of others.
Thank you Anderson Cooper for this show !
Me and my husband were bullied as children.
Our daughter was being bullied in 3rd and 4th grade.
She goes to a different school now.
I found out the bully received a detention note for his
bad behavior but ripped it to pieces before his parents could
see it. People with children that bully don't want to realize
what their children are doing. Something needs to be done !
Where are the parents of the bullies? It has to be taught at home because it starts there! When they get to school things are already in place for the bully to do just that. The parents have to have their eyes opened. I'm angry that this is not getting better it is getting worse. Causing children to kill themselves is the ultimate crime, bullies and parents need to be charged. Causing someone so young to feel that life is not worth living! We should all take heart at any age and start rethinking our values. My heart aches for the children that live in a society of such narrow minds. I thought we had gotten past so much of this. The teaches can't be there all the time. Bullies know how and when to elicit there punishment. Your Dr. needs to talk about the bullies parents and what they need to do to educate their child to stop the cycle. Speak to the bullies! Why is the ultimate blame so to speak placed on the person being bullied to "buck up", feel good about yourself, know you are who you are and it is OK! This is simple but far from easy and as a child sooooo hard to believe!!! If the bully is not ID,d and brought to "justice" it will just continue in so many ways. Did I say I was angry, well I really am. At 70 I fear so much for the children, not from war or the ecconmy, but just surviving school and getting to adulthood. What a shame, school is hard enough w/all the studying and basically working from the age of 5, up early every day, 8 or more hours a day, then homework, then bed and it starts all over. Children should have fun, be who they are and "hang" the bullies or least give them the same punishment. ID them and let others know who they are, who their parents are(this will really get their attention), take the most important thing away from them(you'd be suprised at the attention this will get). Until they pay a price for bad behavior it will continue. Just look at the gangs the kids have going!! Is no one really paying attention or as usual a war of WORDS? Schools and teachers can't do it all. It has to come from all of us. Thank you for listening.
I was bullied from grade 3 until I finished high school. I rarely took the same route home. I was harassed, punched, kicked, forced to sit on tacks, new clothing marked up, and bikes damaged, etc. I reported the bullying to the principle and he told me to stop bothering him. Even my history teacher in high school was a bully. Although he did not physically bully me, he continuously said things to embarrass me.
If I ever stood up to 1 bully, usually a bunch more took up the cause. Therefore, even though I fought back, I still got pounded.
When I left home to join the service, I made lots of friends. I then realized I was OK. The bullies are the losers.
I have twin 12 year old boys, and unfortunately they are both bullied badly. I have gone to their school on numerous accounts and pleaded with them to please take control of the kids and stop this before someone ends up being hurt in all of this. Last week one of my twins was in an altercation with another student and instead of fighting this other student he walked away from the fight. He was still punished and the other student was given the same punishment. What message are we sending our children, are they suppose to stand and take a beating or do the walk away. I am not raising my children to fight, but i do teach them to defend themselves. I just dont understand where the fairness is in all of this. They are still being bullied till today and as much as i plead with their scool nothing is being done. with the laws the way they are i feel like i am a needle in a haysack and no ones hearing me, no one is hearing my sons.