Moms: Can You Have It All?
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Anderson also has a candid conversation with stay-at-home moms and real working moms about their respective decisions. Plus, tips on how to successfully balance your work and home life.
Community Question
Moms, do you think it’s possible to have it all?
Join the conversation.
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Comments
I feel like I "have it all/do it all" - I work from home with my 7 month old son, alternate making dinner with my husband, and run & workout every morning (at home) while my son is sleeping. We don't have a washer and dryer at our place so I don't do (can't) laundry and my husband does the grocery shopping. SO in his eyes I don't do it all! :) He feels like when I say I do it all he isn't contributing - but he goes to work and does the laundry and grocery shopping. We are a team!
Jane you said it all, I am also a stay at home Mom, I decided to do this because I wanted to, my youngest is now 13 and I am trying to find a job (difficult) There aren't' enough words to describe how much people in general look down on a stay at home Mom. Hopefully one day I will get my praises :)) Paula
I have done both , stayed at home and worked. Depending on the number of outside activities you are involved in when being at home, and of course the number of children, staying at home for me was a cake walk. In fact I went back to work happily because being at home was not enough.I have 2 active boys 2 years apart.
While at home I would say we had it all, home baking and cooking, sports, arts,and a great mix of family time, sibling time, time for friends, and me time. I found it was easier to stay good shape and be very healthy during this period.
Working with a family you need to be organized I believe our life was more hectic but it all still happened. If anything the me time was exchanged for being fulfilled in a career path.A preferred fulfillment for me. Being a working mom I felt I had to be less selfish, so my fittness level is not quite the same, but still healthy.
You have to do what makes you happy and what is best for you and your family.
Anderson,
I love you and your new show. I hope it last 25 more years which by that time I will be 93 and will probably not realize if they take you off or not. LOL. I think I am going to love you as good as I did Oprah. The only way it could get any better is if they were to place you as co-host with Kelly Rippa in the mornings, and then I could see you twice a day (good medicine).
God bless you.
Becky Simmons
I have two sons - one has just received his bachelor's degree and the other has just started college. Their dad passed away when they were 10 and 14. I had my own business at that time. It was great to work flexible hours and be there in the morning when they left for school and be there in the afternoon when they arrived. I was sooo busy but they were sooo understanding. I was also studying part time (4 years distance learning) -- but they just knew that they could come to me at any time - I was available because I was at home. Through my experience, I believe that the most important time in a child's life, when he/she needs a parent the most, is when he/she is a teenager. Teenagers need to know that they have a safe heaven to come home too - a place where they can feel safe. I don't think that all the activities or sports or music lessons or whatever is as significant or important as a safe home - where a child can feel secure and loved. As for the mom, she has to do what she is most comfortable doing. When my kids were younger I had to work ---- by choice ----I had to do what made me happy - and happy moms make happy children. So you do what makes you happy and your kids will be happy! My best advise is to stay away from social stigmas! You know in your heart what is best! God bless your decision!
love your show Anderson ! You seem such an honest and genuine guy.
Enjoyed the show but found it hard to relate to Sarah with this topic. Most of us don't have the money to hire private babysitters. Her real life isn't the same as alot of us.
I was raising 2 children, working full time, and went to college at night. It wasn't easy, but yes, it can be done:)
You can have it all. You just can't have it all at the same time! Do the best you can do. Let go of the guilt. Be kind.
I am FURIOUS at the woman in the audience who said that stay at home moms were "clickish" and did not "let" working moms "in"!
Maybe things have changed in the last 20 years, but, I was one of those "stay at home moms" and I dreaded every back to school night and party with others from my husband's work.
I was ALWAYS looked down upon!!! I wasn't smart enough to have a "paying job", just a stupid stay at home mom.
If the pendulum has swung the other direction, I'm sorry you have now been made to feel inadequate as I was years ago.
It will be a wonderful world when we can all let each mother and father do what they feel is right for their family and not condemn anyone!!!!!!!
You CAN have it all, just not at the same time. As a college professor, I can vouch that your offspring need you even after they are 21. Their brains are not fully developed until around 27. AS a mother, I can tell you that they need you. Really. If you try to do it all well, your health will suffer. Only if you have a husband who does half (statistically unlikely, to quote Sheldon Cooper) is it possible to do everything, but excellence is hard to achieve. The best approach is to have stages in your life where you can focus on family or career.
Love your journalism, Anderson. You are following in the footsteps of the greats.
No one can have it all. Everyone must make sacrifices. If you work, you will definitely miss out on a lot of precious time with your children. If you stay at home, you will have to sacrifice financially. Anyone who claims they have everything just because they run the PTA and join every activity under the sun, is not telling the truth. Usually it is just a big show to impress everyone. Everyone is missing something. Yes, you can be happy, but you have to take the good with the bad.
First of all - great show Anderson!
I don't get this whole term "have it all" as if those women that don't have a working career are somewhat missing something. I would argue, stay-at-home moms are the ones that truly 'have it all'. Once you have kids, the most important thing in your life is them - not your career, not your hobbies, and not you. I think this whole concept misses the boat - why have kids if a nanny or daycare is essentially raising them - and yes, if you are not the primary caregiver for the majority of your kids walking hours, then you are not raising your kids. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. I am a working mom - not because I need a career to somehow make me feel valuable, but because we are in the middle of a recession and we needed the extra money. I would love to stay-at-home because my kids are what is important. When you are on your death bed, whether that is in a year or 60 years from now, you are not going to look back and say "gosh I'm glad I missed so much of my family to pursue a career and climb a ladder". You will just be thinking about what is most important - your family.
On the show - working moms talked about the cliques of stay-at-home moms. I would argue that there is a perception amongst some working moms that look down at stay-at-home moms, as if they are not embracing equal rights. Stay-at-home moms get it - they know what is important in life. Those ladies climbing the ladder, you are free to do so, just don't judge those that don't put their job over their kids.
There is nothing wrong with being a homemaker, making sure your family is feed and cared for and making sure your kids know that they can depend on you 100%.
Being a parent is about sacrafice. We can't have it all. Anytime we think we have it all, something around the corner comes along and we want that. I work about 30 hours/week and have 3 kids. Its crazy, hectic, bad, good; etc but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I give stay-at-home moms a lot of credit because I know it is not for me. However, most stay-at-home moms tend to become VERY dedicated to their children's school through volunteering and PTA. That can be very time consuming. But there is a difference between a job and a career. For some, their career may be staying at home and taking care of their family. No matter what, you have to love your career. That is most important.
Where many women have career goals outside of the home, I always had a goal of being a stay-at-home mom. I stopped working outside of the home in 1992, just before the birth of my son. He is now serving in the Air Force. My daughter was born in 1994; she is now a senior in high school and looking forward to college. Where some moms stay home just until their kids get into school, I have been lucky enough to be able to be an in-home mom all of these years. My husband has been incredible at financially supporting a family of four on his own all these years, even despite having to survive two plant closings. In addition to the kids, I dedicate myself to stretching our dollars and keeping costs low. It has been difficult at time to make ends meet, but we have always had what we needed and we do not have any debt. I wish there were more legitimate opportunities for women to earn money working from home. I did some freelance writing work over the years, but was not able to find anything steady. One frustrating part for me is often people assume I must be uneducated if I am not out in the workforce. I have a four-year colege degree in writing. I worked in the newspaper business prior to becoming a mom. I am well-read and well-spoken. When my daughter graduates fom high school I will be looking to re-enter the workforce. I don't think one choice is better than the other. I think women have to decide for themselves what will fulfill them and what their cir***stances will allow.