Anderson's Fight Lab / Best-Selling Author Nicholas Sparks
It's an important show... one that just might save your relationship. Do you fight fair or are your fights going to destroy your relationship?
Anderson welcomes Dr. John Gottman, Co-Founder of The Gottman Institute. He's the nation's foremost researcher on marriage and relationships, and says he can predict with 94% accuracy whether a marriage will end in divorce. He tells us that how someone fights makes a huge difference. For instance, do you roll your eyes, show contempt or constantly nag?
Cameras follow one couple in their home for a week to observe every interaction and every argument. See what you can learn from the way they fight, and find out the right way to argue to keep your relationship from falling apart.
Then, best-selling author Nicholas Sparks discusses his latest book to hit the big screen, "The Lucky One," starring Zac Efron. See how Nicholas overcame rejection to become an international phenomenon.
Comments
Anderson, I found the show on the 11th of July quite interesting with Dr. John Gottman. In the catagories that he said were dangerous for married couples, can also be applied to other relationships as well. Mother/daughter, Father/son or friends, but in particular family. I lost my husband of 30 years, on Nov. 1, 2010, of pancreatic cancer. A wonderful man and a wonderful dad. But I had had other relationships and no good ones, before him. We were soul mates, but the Dr.'s theory, can really be applied to all relationships. I thank you for listening.
somebody give that harassed doctor a vacation from his wife.....bbbaaahhhh
I enjoy Anderson Cooper's show. Really loved seeing his Mother and the love they have for each other. She is such a down to earth person.
Also enjoyed seeing Nicholas Sparks and I have listened on CD to all his books.
Thanks for the newsletter.
I have read all the books Nicolas Sparks has written and love every one of them. Once I get into them, it's so difficult to put them down. I have also seen every movie made as a result of his books. Seeing him live and enjoying his vibrant personality shows why his books are so loved by all his fans. Can't wait for another book!
My daughter, who is also a fan, gave me my first Nicolas Sparks book one year for Christmas, and I've never looked back. And we go to see these movies together every time one comes out. What terrific insight into emotions and love he has. Keep up the good work.
The show on Andersons Fight Lab was very interesting. I was drawn to it completely. I got alot of good tips. And i have to say Mr. Anderson is a very handsome man. He has a great show on tv, and i try not to miss a episode. If i do i watch it online. I want to thank Mr Anderson for very enteresting people and programs on his show. God Bless !!
Sincerely; Mrs. Linda Sewell
Tell that Dr. to divorce that mean blonde and I will be happy to date him. She is unbelieveable.
On second relationship and not going well im ignored we never seem to be able to talk thinks out and makes me feel like i am her dad i want her to be her own woman and be apart of our marriage rather than saying i dont know my wife before this one done the same thing and end the marriage i fell that this one is going down the same path i wish we could speak to each other and listen to one another
not throw excuses out when she does speak rather than saying i dont know or walking away
sorry about spelling
After watching this segment and seeing the married couples drive each other bonkers I have this to say:
1) I am forever grateful that I married young, divorced young, and NEVER married again! After 30+ years as a happily single woman, I live a wonderful, full life. My home is happy and serene 24/7! I would go insane if I had to live like those those people live.
2) I think that men and woman don't live well together. 95% of them should NEVER live in the same house. Men and woman are much too different in our needs and wants. If you don't have kids, save yourself the hassle.
3) Marriages almost always turn relationships into mother/son, father/daughter, brother/sister dynamics that ruin sex and cause chronic tension. Or, you wind up living two separate lives under the same roof. That's NOT a marriage!
3) Life is too short to suffer through chronic daily turmoil! It gives you bad health, leads to cancer/heart attacks, and then you die. Not a great way to live a life.
4) If you don't LIKE your partner, the LOVE you have will NOT hold you together! You MUST be friends and enjoy activities that you have IN COMMON! If you are an artist and he enjoys racing cars everyday- good luck! You will always bump heads over the amount of time you spend away from WHAT you love to be with WHO you love! It will kill the relationship.
5) The couple shown that had the big age difference should get a divorce asap! She is a demanding "B", and he is older and mellowed with age. She will never find anyone that will live up to her demands and should remain single and enjoy her life as a single woman. (Date when she wants, but nothing serious or she'll drive the guys nuts!), and her poor doctor husband should have known better than to marry a young gold digger! He is being verbally abused by her and has learned to just tune her out. Not good!! He needs to run for his life and learn to stay within his own age group if he wants to date/marry. A big age difference always results in not having the same reference points in your life to refer to which are what builds your life, opinions, and interests . When you have a big age difference you also have differences in everything from music, hobbies, money, family time, activities, sex, etc... There is no end to the amount of problems a big age difference brings.
6) That's all I have to say on the subject of marriage. It's a shame that some people suffer throughout their adult lives for the sake of something called "marriage". What I saw on this show reminded me of nagging and bickering. That ol' mother/son, brother/sister thing- it wasn't marriage at all!
A footnote please.. I find that Anderson Cooper is very comfortable at his job of interviewing and thus creates an atmosphere of trust,sincerity,compassion and results.I try to catch Anderson when I am at home.He is a natural at what he does.
A sweet and caring man and he gets right to the point and if there is injustice he sees it and asks questions and does not dismiss those "wrongs" until he receives answers!Good for him!
The relationship program is still current in my mind and I felt it was so beneficial!Thanks for the great topic and interesting guests!
I was fortunate to catch the program of Dr.Gottman last week.I wish now that I had known all this in my former marriage!The bit about "contempt" was an eyeopener!I had experienced so much mockery,bullying,and just plain nastiness that I wonder how I came through it all!??I had frequent health problems and no wonder!??Who would have thought all this toxicity would create illness but then why not??A tough lesson to learn and to be on the lookout for who might come next??! In fact I am currently trying to extract myself from such a person who tells me he loves me but mimics,criticizes and mocks who I am!!! He will not own up to any of it...I appointed myself his teacher of all things!!?? How foolish of me!! It is a "no win situation" and wastes such precious energy!!Old habits die hard... but I have known some lovely men as well.. Where are they now??I thank Anderson Cooper for one of the best programs ever on this topic and for Dr.Gottman`s wonderful and insightful thinking and advice!I learned a great deal and hopefully shall refer to this new information from now on.It is never too late!!Thank you!
Dr.Gottman and Anderson are trying to reinvent the wheel. There is only one thing to learn, be sincere to oneself before you are sincere to another. This is the gold standard. Or else you'll keep going back to the book to find the next "strategy" to take. You'll soon realize you're only fooling yourself. Don't raise your expectations and waste your money, until you have mustered your own ego and pride. Then see how naturally this "therapy" comes to you and your other.
Will you ever re-air Dr Gottmans episode? I read his books years ago and tried to save my marriage. I had an unwilling partner so the divorce did take place. I promised myself when dating to put Dr Gottmans theories at work as well. I met a wonderful man 4 years ago and now we are engaged. This is the happiest I have been because "WE" respect eachother and work very hard to be eachothers champion. Prevent contempt as its very hard to come back from. I would love to see this in full as I missed it due to a fire (I am a firefighter). :)
How do or where can i buy your book?
For Samna:
Click on the "play" 4 negative patterns that predict divorce (above). It will explain what you need to know for your answers. Criticism (1) Contempt (2) Defensiveness (3) and Stonewalling (4)
Well im a 22yr old but i've been in a relationship for 7 years. I was so shocked how many of the things that Dr.Gottman was explaining was so common and i do many of the things in my relationship. I stonewall and nag and today watching other couples arguments it made me tell myself thats how we look when we argue with our loved ones. What i took from the show was to be understanding of each others needs and not to say you never, you always, or anything insulting to you partner. I will keep these tips in mind a think of them when i feel the need to nag take a deep breath and listen to my partners wants and needs. I love the show and cheers to many great shows in the future.