Anna Faris: Was My Ex 'The One'?
Friday, September 30, 2011
Anderson also speaks with real women who are looking at their past relationships to see if they missed “the one.”
Take Our Poll: Does It Ever Work to Rekindle a Romance with an Ex?
Community Question
Have you ever tried to revisit a relationship with an ex? Did it work?
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He was shy and I was also. We met in 1st grade and were classmates till HS graduation. Went to proms and social events but never were really a 'relationship'. We were strictly 'friends', no sex. We graduated and went our separate ways. Sixteen (16) years later we reconnected thru mutual friends. He is now happily married and I am still single. Only now we have stayed in contact and in one of our conversations he told me that he was 'stupid for being so damn shy'. That I was the 'love of his life' and 'always would be'. But I chose not to pursue the relationship because I did not want to be the cause of a break in his marriage or splitting the family apart. We remain solely friends and catch up once in a great while online. I am a true believer that things happen for a reason and while we may not understand at the time, later in life we look back and are happy with what we have thus far. You can't dwell in the past, you can only move forward. And if somewhere along the line God places him in my path (uncommitted, Lol!) then maybe I'll take a second look, but I won't be sitting at home waiting for him to come back along.
I just got done seeing your show and I have a story for you.. It all started in 1996-97. We were in high school together. When I meet him (Jimmy) I had a feeling that I would never have a full life with this man. We started dating and were together for almost 8 months. We broke up for reasons that he would never tell me then, but I found out it was because his brother did not like me. We tried to be friends but we went our on ways and I saw him maybe once every 3 years. I dated and in 2002 I was married to my first husband. During this time I found my self thinking more and more about Jimmy. I even still had all of our letters from high school. Around Dec. of 2008 I told my husband at the time that I wanted out. And we started the paper work and by may of 2009 I was back living with my mom and dad. Jimmy was the first person I called to just see how he was. It was July 10 when I saw him again and we have not been apart since. We are married now and I could never see life with out him. What is funny he has told me that he never really dated anyone cause in his mind they never compared to me. After 13 years we are together and are working on making a family. Life is to short to worry about what could have been. Get it off your chest and mind. I feel that you should tell them. All they can do is tell you that they don't feel the same. Yes it may hurt but it will fade with time. Love and life are both short and ture love will live for ever in the things that come out of your love. (Children, Grandchildren, ECT.) Live life to the fullest... Thanks for letting me put this down in words. I hope you have a great day...
I love when you would sit In for Regis, and I was hoping you take is spot but now you got your own show and I love it and watch it all week,,, Todays is such a sad one but something has to be done with these bully's ... I hope to catch your show whenever I make it to New York,,,,, Keep up the good work Anderson and of course your staff too,,,
Anderson- watch your show everyday !! Missed your laugh after show..that is a huge part of my day..love hearing your laugh..it truly makes me smile. Now will have to wait til after monday's show ! I have had 4 back surgeries in one month barely able to walk..have a lot of nerve damage..has left me very depressed..watching your show is up lifting and positive. Am hoping to one day make it to a live show..am a HUGE FAN OF YOURS! Keep up the great work..keep smiling and "laughing" all my love ,V
So... I am the Ashley from the show. I have read a lot of the comments on here and find them interesting and some sweet.
I'd just like to say: while Jeff did a lot of great things, there was so much more than me wanting him to "change" and so many things they tried to focus on that wasn't the main issue. Jeff lacked ambition, drive and follow through. He would make promises that never happened. I watched with my friends and they think I took it way to easy on him, however like I said in the show--I am not going to throw him under the bus and say horrible things because that is cruel. Jeff and I flew back to Austin Tx together and discussed the show. He apologized to me for freezing up and as he puts it "looking like a retard out there." And last night told me he regrets not telling me how he truly feels. I know what I want out of life and from a guy and a relationship. I also know I am not perfect, I am not the thinnest, the prettiest, or have the straightest teeth (referring to another commentator). I know we had great, great chemistry. We endured A LOT (and I am not just talking job loss), we made it through a lot and it got to a point where I just didn't like who I was becoming when I was with him, I wanted better for myself and he was holding me back from a lot of things I wanted to become. I felt like I was portrayed as this high maintenance woman with super high expectations and filled with desperation. This isn't the case at all. I love Jeff as a person. I don't know if he is the right one for me at this time. I think the show was somewhat dramatic. I think he has a lot of growing up to do--he knows all this too, hence why he has made some changes (that he needed to make for himself as well). Will we ever get back together? I have no idea, I believe people can't change (and I am not just talking quitting smoking, or a habit...character traits are near impossible to change). I cannot make someone lacking ambition or motivation to one day just wake up and "get it", though I tried. I hope to find someone I can accept for all they are, whether it be Jeff down the line or someone else. If you have to know how I came about to be on the show, you can read all about it in my blog ashleybrinkman.com/blog Thanks, would love to hear your thoughts, comments (so long as they're constructive--remember I cry easily-- or stories of adversity)
I believe it's important to leave oneself open to revisiting past relationships. In my experience, a loving relationship blew up because of a misunderstanding, and because of our immaturity, we just walked away. Only two years ago did I find out that he had unsuccessfully driven across states to find me in an effort to reconcile. Since we parted 43 years ago, there was a 3 hour phone call 20 years ago - he, sitting in his corporate highrise office in Chicago, and I, in a similar office situation in San Francisco. While all the secrets weren't shared then, we did catch up on our lives. I subsequently moved to the Caribbean and then Italy, only returning to the states 5 years ago. He finally found me again, and after 3 months of e-mailing I agreed to see him. We spent a wonderful day together in a picnic setting, and all the secrets and feelings of decades were shared. While he's still married and bound by his committment, we communicate daily by telephone and never run out of things to say. No hanky-panky, just conversation. We are soulmates, but we'll never have the opportunity to share our lives. But that's OK - I'm not sad or angry. Instead, I'm thankful that I finally found out what really happened from his perspective, and I enjoy the renewed friendship with my "Imaginary Friend". (nickname for him). Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way you invisioned.
No, I never tried to go back and rekindle anything. Guess I was always too afraid of being burned a second time. Was anyone "The One"? I'm thinking of one specific guy, and yes, I suppose so, possibly, maybe...who knows? I don't lose any sleep worrying about it, though - way too much time has gone by since then.
My ex boyfriend from 27 years ago asked me to be his friend on fb so i accepted. I didn't realize how much anger I had toward him because of something that happened when we were together.I truly believe that God allowed him in my life for a reason and that was to deal with some past hurt. I have forgiven him and all the junk that went with it. I have been married for 25 years to a great man.
The show today had great advise. I do believe that you can rekindle a relationship from the past and nice to see how many people have.
Your show was great today. What a wonderful topic. I met my ex-husband when I was 13 yrs. Old. We didn’t date until our sophomore year of college and married right after we graduated from college(1988). Most of the 18yrs of my marriage I was in denial, but I loved being married and a stay home Mom. When my children became teens I could no longer ignore my husband many years of infidelity . I have been divorced for 5 yrs. I don’t want to get back with my ex. But I do miss my family unit. What makes me want to go back is the longing for a family (husband, wife and kids). I grew up in the beaver ceaver family and wish that for my kids. I am so sad I was able to give that to my children. My biggest down fall is “what if?” I want to find love. I still believe in soul mates and hope to find mine someday! My next great love is right around the corner
Your show was great today. What a wonderful topic. I met my ex-husband when I was 13 yrs. Old. We didn’t date until our sophomore year of college and married right after we graduated from college(1988). Most of the 18yrs of my marriage I was in denial, but I loved being married and a stay home Mom. When my children became teens I could no longer ignore my husband many years of infidelity . I have been divorced for 5 yrs. I don’t want to get back with my ex. But I do miss my family unit. What makes me want to go back is the longing for a family (husband, wife and kids). I grew up in the beaver ceaver family and wish that for my kids. I am so sad I was able to give that to my children. My biggest down fall is “what if?” I want to find love. I still believe in soul mates and hope to find mine someday! My next great love is right around the corner
In June I reconnected with an old friend on Facebook. We have known each other since we were kids and he was three and a half years older than me. When I was 18 he asked me out but I had gotten engaged for my 18th birthday. A couple of years later I got separated and he got married the same day. We always remained friends but never got involved with each other. Now, 30 some odd years later, we come to find out that he has been single for the last 12 years (his 2nd wife passed away) and I have been single for the last 17 years (my boyfriend passed away). The only in our way now is that I live in NY and he lives in AZ. Last week I went out to visit for him for nine days and it was wonderful. We are going to make this work this time - but it will take a little time to get all the details figured out.
I ENJOY WATHCING YOUR SHOW--- AND WATCH U ON YOUR SHOW CNN .. BUT TODAYS SHOW OF YOUR REMINDED ME OF ME,,, SEE I REKINDLED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH A PAST BOYFRIEND BACK IN 1965 WE WERE TEENAGERS AND MY FIRST BOYFRIEND. 1966 HE WROTE ME A LETTER AND I HELD ON TO IT THROUGH TWO MARRIAGES AND HAD IT IN A BOX,,,,WELL TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HE TWO HAD BEEN THROUGH TWO MARRIAGES... WE BOTH RAN INTO EACH OTHER AT A GOLF COURSE IN 2001 AND WE MARRIED IN 2002 AT THE GOLF COURSE... P.S DURING THE 30 YEARS HE WAS SELLING INSURANCE AND BUMPED INTO HIM AGAIN IN 1977 HE WAS MARRIED AND ME TOO.. I DID BUMP INTO HIM AGAIN IN 1985 HE WAS SELLING CARS A FRIEND AND I WENT TO THE CARLOT AND GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.. I MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE -- LOST TRACK OF MY OLD BOYFRIEND...I DIVORCED IN THE LATE 90'S AND HE TWO DIVORCED HE THE LATE 90'S-- BUT WE DID RECONNECT AND THE 3RD TIME IS A CHARM HE IS MY ONE AND ONLY...OUR 9TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY WAS IN JUNE... GREAT SHOW U HAD ON THE SHOW TODAY--- JUST BROUGHT BACK MEMORIES...................
I reconnected with my college sweetheart after 37 yrs. We both thought about each other throughout our respective marriages and never stopped loving each other. As it turned out we named our son's the same and my son is in the same career as he was. We reconnected on classmates and several years later were able to meet for coffee in our college town. We feel we are soulmates.
Ann, After 50 yrs you deserve to be with each other. Life is short. love is not about who you live with it's about who you can't live without!
I am struck by how many writers reconnected with an old love after 30 years. I fell in love 30 years ago and he returned the love. Unfortunately he was married. We separated and had no contact for 30 years. We reconnected a few months ago. Both of us were widowed. The love was real and it was still there. We married but he died only a few weeks later. I am so glad we had that time to share our love freely.