Mayim Bialik's Son May Sleep in Her Bed Until He's 7 Years Old
"How long do you think your child will sleep in your bed?" Anderson Cooper asks "Big Bang Theory" star Mayim Bialik.
"I am told somewhere around five to seven... it may shift," says the attachment parenting advocate.
On Monday, Bialik joins Anderson and Co-Host Monday guest Rebecca Romijn to discuss the controversial Time magazine story that sparked a national debate about attachment parenting.
Bialik has written a new book, "Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way," and answers Anderson and Rebecca's questions about the principles of the practice.
Should children sleep in the same bed as their parents?Bialik continues, "We have two beds on the floor next to each other. And honestly, there is a natural desire for independence at night that does come."
"Most adults, you know, do not want to sleep alone -- it's not normal," says Bialik. "It is normal to be close to someone who loves you at night. There's nothing weird about it."
Bialik says attachment parenting is "a style of parenting that basically harkens to the way primates parent -- things like natural birth, breastfeeding, sleeping safely near your child, holding your child."
The actress and mother of two says the principles of attachment parenting mirror "the way mammals parent, the way primates parent, and pretty much all of human history it's the way people parented."
She continues, "A lot of people hear this term and think a lot of things -- that there's an attachment parenting police. That if you have a C-section you're out, or if you don't breastfeed, you're out. And it's simply not that."
"It sounds exhausting," says Romijn about the parenting practice. "You don't get a break in attachment parenting. As a mom, you have to make sure you're happy for your children to be happy."
"It is normal for a child to want to be close to you, when a child is near to you, it's significant to them. It physiologically makes sense," adds Bialik.
To see more on the topic, watch "Anderson" on Monday, May 21.
Comments
Why does the kid have to sleep in your bed? I love my mother and never slept with her.
Our only son slept with us until he was 5 years old and, suddenly, he just decided he wanted to sleep in his "own" room *;* My husband and I actually looked at each other and said: "he is divorcing us." Ever since then, he has been sleeping in his own room. We were the ones who did not have sleep that first week he slept away from us. We alternately checked on him every night for a week in case he might fallen from his bed or just to put blanket on him or just for any reason.
My mother breastfed almost all 10 of us until we were 2 or 3 years old. It did not seem unnatural to us or anyone in our town when we see mothers breastfeeding their baby or toddler in the public at that time. I remembered our youngest brother (2yrs then) biting her because he could not get anymore milk, and my mother used to gently press her thumb and forefinger together on his cheeks for him to let go. By that time, my mother was already in her late 40's.
Sometimes, it is how adults impose their perception or opinion about their environment or others' action that make our children perceive it that way also. If the parents put sexual connotation to breastfeeding, then that will be how the children will start seeing it too. In a way, it is through parents or adults around them where children learn from. Because children are very perceptive, they tend to pick it up quickly. Children are the greatest imitators.
All three of my children were breastfed til one year of age, and all have slept in the bed with us until they started being comfortable in their own beds. They were all in their own beds by 4 years of age and seem to be very well adjusted. It was just instinctive for me, and that's what we were all comfortable with.
I am not against having your child in bed with you, if it works for you and your family than do what's best for you as a whole and don't let others tell you what is wrong or right. Parenting is not all natural, we mess up, we make mistakes but there our mistakes. I became a single mother when my son was 1 1/2 so I ended up having him in my bed alot up until he was about six is when he really started sleeping alone. He still occassionaly gets in my bed when he can't sleep and he is 11. I am still a single mom and I don't want my son to rely on me to feel secure all of the time. I regret giving into him because I want my space at night, I want to stay up late and watch tv or just be by myself and I have realized that I have created an insecure boy who relies on me to get a good night sleep. It's not for everyone it maybe for some of you but it didn't work out for me or my son. Non the less parenting is up to the parent and it's our individual responsibiltiy to raise the best people we can, however we see fit doing it. No matter what we do, if our kids end up in therapy so be it, I think we could all use some therapy:)
What the hell is wrong with this women who's fighting to get their breast be exposed to the general public?? I don't have a problem with it, I just don't wanna hear anymore about it.
All three videos are no longer available, why bother to continue posting this article:
http://www.andersoncooper.com/2012/05/18/mayim-bihalik-so...
?????"I am told somewhere around five to seven... it may shift," says the attachment parenting advocate.........????????? Who's telling you this crap ???? And I agree with Jonathon 100%.
GLAD TO SEE THIS!! Yes, it is a competition. Sorry. The better you can do attachment parenting the better it is for your child, not to mention yourself. But I don't think you are #1 here. The child is.
Those doctors and psychs. should be penalized for coming against this. Can you believe some don't even encourage breast feeding? Barbaric.
My daughter decided to start sleeping with us most nights when she was about two...she "moved out" when she about 5 and believe me it NEVER affected our love life. There are other beds in the house. What did we get from this?... a smart, independent, funny, stunning competitive athletic 16 year old that still tells us both she loves us as she goes to school each day and enjoys being with her family. Not so bad where I stand.
My daughter decided to start sleeping with us most nights when she was about two...she "moved out" when she about 5 and believe me it NEVER affected our love life. There are other beds in the house. What did we get from this?... a smart, independent, funny, stunning competitive athletic 16 year old that still tells us both she loves us as she goes to school each day and enjoys being with her family. Not so bad where I stand.
I believe you should do whatever is good for you. If you're happy, the baby is happy, and all is good.
It's called "Family Bed." My husband and I did it back in the 80s for about two years. We also made arrangements for date nights. :)
I personally don't think they should sleep with their kids like that, but seriously who are we to judge....seriously if that is the worst thing a parent can do with all of the abuse out there, this ranks very low in my opinion. My daughter sleeps on her own in her crib and not with me, except for an occasional nap if she is too opposed to it during the day which is rare.
My only comments are this, I was an older mom back in the 80's (36)when I had our only child which took us 10 years. I breastfed for 3-5 weeks (only) because truthfully for me it was easier. As for the co-sleeping.....when our child was old enough to climb out of her bed at about 12 months and come across the hall to me we let her in our bed. Whatever made her want to come into our bed was enough for us. Be it a bad dream, or unusual sound or just security, we wanted her to know we were there. My doctor said to lock our door and let her cry and she would eventually stop. The sound of my child begging for Mommie and Daddy was cruel. She would start out every night in her own bed but just about every night she would come into our room until somewhere around 9 or 10 years o****e. Today she is a very well adjusted married woman with her own child. And I might add that she did not turn into a very clingy Momma and Daddy's girl.
When is parenting not exhausting?