The Rudest Behaviors Ever! Anderson Investigates...
Monday, April 30, 2012 5:18PM
Rule number one: If you are experiencing bad restaurant service, never mess with a waiter until you’ve gotten your food, says former waiter and best-selling author Steve Dublanica who wrote “Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (P.S.)”
Even though you’re angry, Steve says to never deal with the waiter -- deal with the manager.
“If you have encountered rude service, says Steve, “vote with your feet... don’t go back there.”
“Anderson” and Yahoo! Shine teamed up to ask our online audiences the rudest behavior they continually encounter. Yahoo! Shine Facebook friends were quick to respond with passionate rude rants.
Shannon P. said on Facebook, “Being MOWED down at clothing rack by a rude/entitled shopper who has abs NO concept of personal space!” Amanda S. posted, “When you’re in line at the store and the person is so close to you that you can feel him breathin on your neck!!”
While responses varied, one of the top rants was rude cell phone behavior.
In a poll asking, “What rude behavior bothers you most?” 56% of respondents said parents who do not supervise their children are most annoying. Ten percent said rude waiters, 8% said pet owners who do not clean up after their dogs and 7% said tardiness.
One of the top rude behaviors came in at 19% -- people who talk too loudly on their cell phones.
Anderson Cooper says his number on pet peeve is rudeness. Arrogant people being rude to other people, cutting in line, talking loudly on their cell phones and being rude to waiters, makes him very angry.
As part of Tuesday’s episode, “Anderson Investigates Rudeness,” we decided to do a series of hidden camera investigations to see how people react when someone is being rude to then. We hired an actor to be rude all day and the results were amazing.
Would you approach someone being rude in public? Surprisingly, not many people did...
Amy Alkon, syndicated advice columnist and author of “I See Rude People,” says that “when someone is on a cell phone in a public place, they are hijacking your thoughts, they’re stealing your time and your peace of mind.”
Anderson agreed, saying, “That’s the thing that annoys me is that they are stealing my time, and my brainpower is focused on them -- when it should be focused on the inane things that I think about through the day or whatever I want to think about.”
Do you silently sit there and fume while someone is rude? Amy says it amplifies things. “You’re eating you that way and it can have very negative effects on your health. So it’s really important to not do that, to not brew. But to say something before you brew so much that you explode.”
Amy suggests that if you absolutely have to get on your cell phone in a public place, a person must take their conversation outside, or whisper, with hand over mouth.
Where do you encounter the rudest people? On Yahoo Shine, 32% said they encounter the most rudeness at retail store. Tying for the second rudest places were grocery stores and airport/airplanes. Rounding out the list was 14% at restaurants/coffee shops and 4% at the gym.
Have you experienced a rude waiter? Take a look at what happened when we set up our actor, Mac, to pose as an extremely obnoxious and rude waiter.
Even though you’re angry, Steve says to never deal with the waiter -- deal with the manager.
“If you have encountered rude service, says Steve, “vote with your feet... don’t go back there.”
“Anderson” and Yahoo! Shine teamed up to ask our online audiences the rudest behavior they continually encounter. Yahoo! Shine Facebook friends were quick to respond with passionate rude rants.
Shannon P. said on Facebook, “Being MOWED down at clothing rack by a rude/entitled shopper who has abs NO concept of personal space!” Amanda S. posted, “When you’re in line at the store and the person is so close to you that you can feel him breathin on your neck!!”
While responses varied, one of the top rants was rude cell phone behavior.
In a poll asking, “What rude behavior bothers you most?” 56% of respondents said parents who do not supervise their children are most annoying. Ten percent said rude waiters, 8% said pet owners who do not clean up after their dogs and 7% said tardiness.
One of the top rude behaviors came in at 19% -- people who talk too loudly on their cell phones.
Anderson Cooper says his number on pet peeve is rudeness. Arrogant people being rude to other people, cutting in line, talking loudly on their cell phones and being rude to waiters, makes him very angry.
As part of Tuesday’s episode, “Anderson Investigates Rudeness,” we decided to do a series of hidden camera investigations to see how people react when someone is being rude to then. We hired an actor to be rude all day and the results were amazing.
Would you approach someone being rude in public? Surprisingly, not many people did...
Amy Alkon, syndicated advice columnist and author of “I See Rude People,” says that “when someone is on a cell phone in a public place, they are hijacking your thoughts, they’re stealing your time and your peace of mind.”
Anderson agreed, saying, “That’s the thing that annoys me is that they are stealing my time, and my brainpower is focused on them -- when it should be focused on the inane things that I think about through the day or whatever I want to think about.”
Do you silently sit there and fume while someone is rude? Amy says it amplifies things. “You’re eating you that way and it can have very negative effects on your health. So it’s really important to not do that, to not brew. But to say something before you brew so much that you explode.”
Amy suggests that if you absolutely have to get on your cell phone in a public place, a person must take their conversation outside, or whisper, with hand over mouth.
Where do you encounter the rudest people? On Yahoo Shine, 32% said they encounter the most rudeness at retail store. Tying for the second rudest places were grocery stores and airport/airplanes. Rounding out the list was 14% at restaurants/coffee shops and 4% at the gym.
Have you experienced a rude waiter? Take a look at what happened when we set up our actor, Mac, to pose as an extremely obnoxious and rude waiter.
Filed Under: As Seen On The Show
Comments
When are you going to talk about rude customers. They go to restaurants order water and a burger and sit for 3 hours chatting or working on the computer asking for yet another basket of bread and leaving a miserable 12% tip in dimes...
Believe me, there are plenty opf people out there like that ...not to forget the other kind of customers who order the most expensive item on hte menu proceed to eat 90% of it and at the end when we clear the table they mention " it was a bit tough, you know...I shouldn't be paying for that" aznd when the manager takes it off the check they calculate their tip on hte lower balance....PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND WE FEED OUR CHILDREN & PAY BILLS TO WITH THE MONEY WE MAKE WAITRESSING!!!! LET"S TALK ABOUT THAT FOR ONCE!
“when someone is on a cell phone in a public place, they are hijacking your thoughts, they’re stealing your time and your peace of mind.”
Anderson agreed, saying, “That’s the thing that annoys me is that they are stealing my time, and my brainpower is focused on them -- when it should be focused on the inane things that I think about through the day or whatever I want to think about.”
Um, wow... REALLY?!? So that's what it's come to now in the world of the "my rights" revolution? I understand if I'm eating a meal in a quiet restaurant preferring the guy at the next table, or even across the room, to not yell at the top of his voice unnecessarily during a phone call. Yes, that can be nerve wracking, irritating and an assault on the senses. However, once you choose to expose your "thoughts, "time" and "peace of mind" to the general public, in general public settings, of your own volition don't you think there's a sense of responsibility to expect, a certain amount of uninvited and potentially undesirable experiences from others? I mean sure I can monitor and regulate people yelling in my house or on my property, as can you. But isn't that what the 'general public' is for? A neutral zone that neither you nor I have the 'God given right' to decide how loud someone else can talk into their own electronic devices as long as it doesn't pose a threat to life, limb and/or national security? Don't get me wrong, I don't care for the 'cell phone while driving' epidemic any more than anyone else. Personally, when you get down to it, I think it's rude to even use your cell phone while dining in a nice restaurant in the first place. Nobody wants to hear about your personal business when they're out to relax and enjoy a quiet meal with friends and loved ones. But within the confines of socially accepted laws it's not my job to regulate how others conduct their lives in public... and in my humble opinion having 'experts' and celebrities tout that me talking louder than they think is necessary in a public setting is "hijacking" their time, thoughts, whatever, is ludicrous and insensitive to the concept of a 'public venue'. Certainly they have the right to perceive, interpret and judge any actions around them as they choose to. But if they believe it's their right to force that same interpretation into the fabric of socially accepted behavior I think it's going a bit too far. Don't try to regulate the volume of somebody else if they're not at your house and think you're being reasonable... if you don't want to hear loud things in public, take along some ear plugs.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it... ;)
everyone here that commented on servers I would like to tell all of you that sometimes servers are rude, but in many cases customers are worst, they enjoy busting chops and of course they are never wrong based on the restaurant owners they kiss ass to clienteles.
I did work for 5 years waiter and I did experience times that ben honest mistake on my side and I did quickly take actions to correct.
In the other hand I did have customers that loves getting you in trouble or try to drive you crazy with attitude just because that 15% tip they think that the own you and the treat you like looser.
Springs-I was in the biz for 15yrs-finally got out-you're why. I cooked, tended bar, waited tables, and everything else in a restaurant but own one. In my 15 yrs, I never sabotaged anyones food/drink. Ever. I would have sabotaged yours. Unpleasable. I probably would have tried to embarrass you in front of your party by calling you "Your Majesty" or something along those lines for starters.Then I would have jacked up your food. Do ALL servers a favor and stay home.
To Spring1 I'm a sever and id have to say i agree with a lot of the things on your list, but some things i don't think you understand why they happen. list numbers 5,6,7,8,9,and 21 are all things that Restaurant require us servers to do. like we are never aloud to be on the floor with empty hands so we walk the floor with a pitcher with refills or after we drop of food we must grab dirty dishes on the way back, we also have to right are names on checks to show we ask you about are specials. Also we are required to drop of your check at second bite the time we ask if everything is tasting great for you, and if you don't ask for no lemon we will always garnish the glass with it. The bottles of condiments at the table with lets say a burger we also have to bring out with the meal cause the Restaurant paying us tells to. These things we somethings may not agree with but we have to do them so they are not the servers fault.
25, you may get a new sever that is still learning the ins and outs of the menu, or the menu just changed so somethings are different than before , and yes we study the menu but we may not know the answer to your question cause no one has asked about it before.
32, unless it is costing you money why would you need permission? we are required at my Restaurant to bring water with hot drinks and or drinks that don't get refills another thing severs don't just do but we have to do. Also if your drink is empty and you are not in the process of leaving i will always bring you a refill if you have to ask for a refill i'm not doing my job.
34, We never know how you may want it, and whats so wrong with asking? I have been told many times no i want it with my app. or with the meal even after the meal. Now that is rare but that is why we ask.
Now spring1 i hope that helps you understand why the servers do some of the things they do, but they should never get rude with you even if you are rude to them, and they should always apologize even if it wasn't their fault. If they are rude and don't apologize then you shouldn't tip them! but do always keep in mind that you are not the only person in the Restaurant and there maybe many reasons why thing were wrong and not always the severs fault.
Springs1
What do you do? What is your job title? Have you ever worked in customer service? Restaurant or not? My guess is no. You have absolutely no idea what a customer service representative does. Or what a server must do on a daily basis during their shift, which at many times can last upwards of 10-12 hours, all on their feet.
In most restaurants that service staff is responsible for running the establishment, including sweeping, mopping, cleaning the windows and the bathrooms and the tables, chairs and picking up trash outside. They have to make sauces, (that ranch that you need so badly) and tea, coffee and stock the beverage stations with straws, napkins, cups and ice, change kegs and restock the bar, change the soda syrups, wash and roll silverware, and they do all of this while they are serving you your meal. Most restaurants have sections of at least 4-8 tables and that waitress' job is not simply to serve you. She has many other responsibilities. And all the while she is serving you your margarita, she is simply craving a lunch break. She clocked in at 3:30p and ate lunch at 1:00p and now its 9:30p and she still has not had dinner yet.
And lets keep in mind the amount of money that she makes. I am not sure where you are from, (probably Canada) but in Texas the hourly rate for a waiter is $2.13. Yes two dollars and thirteen cents an HOUR.
Sadly you are not the only person that behaves rudely in a restaurant. Think about your top three most irritating experience you've had in a restaurant, then play those episodes back to back. Or maybe at the same time. You have no idea what else is going on in her work day. Or her personal life either. These things factor in. What if that young lady who forgot your margarita just lost her mother, her boyfriend broke up with her and she is taking 14 hours of classes at the local university, or community college. Shes busy and distracted. But she cant skip work or she cant pay her bills. Cut her or him some slack. You are not a mind reader and neither are they.
Lets go over the servers tasks again and the fact that they make crap money, then factor in your ridiculous expectations and your demeanor, which I can tell from your posts is quite negative and demanding, and the fact that the server hasnt eaten in 8 hours and shes clocked over 40 hours on this paycheck already and now we can see how it might be difficult to be polite to a customer who comes across as I am sure you do.
Take some time, after you've calmed down and think about if you would be able to do what waitresses or waiters do. Get a weekend job at a restaurant just to see if you can. You probably cant. And because you cant, you have no right to judge them.
there could be one rude waiter and 99 percent bad customers, sometimes you think is the waiter faults for not getting your food, think twice he has to go to the kitchen and deal with the chef and other people, you blame him for not being faster not his fault he doesnt make your meals only takes the order and if he goes back to the kitchen he cannot order the chef he will get hell, also think twice waiter makes 2.80 the hour in the US they lived only on tips and long hours, no vacation paid, not ealth insurance, no compensation, not moving up the ladder, if he want to take time off he gets paid nothing,I know im a waiter, 20 years of service and the owner can let me go anytime, no compensation not even a thank you...think twice is the worst paid job but somebody has to do it, especially if you have no education...
Okay everyone give the waiters/waitresses a break usually they are short and and extremely overworked . The customer usually has a body language that puts them defensive mode.Granted there are sucky waiters/waitresses out there but dont give the good ones a bad reputation
"never mess with a waiter until you’ve gotten your food"? You make waiters out to be heartless. We're not going to mess with your food just because you have a problem with us. moreover, if there is a conflict between a customer and server, it is rarely ever started by the server. If your issues with your sever are that significant then politely ask for a different server. Believe me, your server will be more than willing to pass your ill-mannered ass onto someone else.
Springs 1 slounds like Mojo Jojo!
Springs.... I used to waitress when I was in college, and encountered many cutomers or " guests" like you. Difficult people are very common. When you ask for many different sides of this and extra that and substitute this,it does slow down your server. yes it i spossible to get it right,but mistakes happen.Should she apologize,sure,butyou dont want any apology, you want someone to kiss your behind and you know it. Many people treat servers like crap because it makes them feel better about themselfs. Also, you dont seem to take into consideration that you are not the only table your server has. now what makes you so important that everyone else should wait so your special night is just perfect how you want it. Yeah your paying for it,but you are not the only person there who is. I would be careful if I was you, you keep acting like that and keeping going back to the same places they will remember you. I saw a woman like you get served ranch that had something gross from the floor dunked in it first because she had been in before and ran the server ragged for extra ranch extra sauce,she was rude, left a terrible tip and came back and ended up with the same server. You do deserve to get good service when you goout, but you must act accordingly also or you will get treated the way you did at Chilis. Im sure that waitress has a new job by now, hope you dont run into her in another place. She will remember you and I dont have enough time now to tell you what goes on in the kitchen when all the servers have a customer that another server has a had a problem with before. But you probably just get bad service because you are a demanding and probably not very pleasant customer.
Springs1, I have read through your posts. Do you realize that people would probably take you more seriously (at least in this forum) if you weren't churlish towards everyone? Or maybe it's projection, and what you observe as other people's inadequacy is really your own impotence. Say what you want and move on. There is no need to be crude and narrow-minded. Obviously, if you're sitting behind your computer defending your laundry list of complaints and dismissing everyone elses opinions, you're provincial at the least.
I’ve experience rude service to the point i wanted to tell the waiter off but it’s not the waiters fault even though I told him 3 times the customers behind me are being rude he asked the politely to shut up but they didn’t listen......
Want to get back at a rude waiter? Tell him you work for a network and he might be perfect for a role. Give him a card with a phone number to call for an audition. The phone number should be for a company that sends clowns to birthday parties.
Sorry you feel that way Springs 1. And sorry you have a predetermined opinion that "most servers are *** jerks". We have all had bad service and I agree with you that is is unacceptable and can be infuriating at times. I go back to my original point that the service you receive is a reflection of yourself. Could you be projecting your multi-point list in your demeanor and body language that puts the server on edge? Could you be sending the message that you are waiting for them to slip up so you can pounce? Somethings are not "common sense" to everyone. If you let them know how they will be judged they will feel more fairly treated and at least the good waiters will try hard to accommodate you.