Why Do Men Cheat?
Sarah Symonds became notorious years ago for being what many dubbed a "Professional Mistress," and in her time spent with married men, she believes she has acquired knowledge as to why men cheat on their wives.
"Most men stray because there's something wrong at home; there's something lacking," Sarah says. "And it may not be sex, they're starved of emotion."
Simone Bienne, however, disagrees. During her many years as a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist, she says she, too, has talked with many men who have cheated, and she views their infidelity in a different way.
"Men may come to see a prostitute to pay for sex to dress it up, because they don't want to see and realize and admit to themselves that what they're doing is an incredibly sordid thing to do," Simone says.
Things get heated as these opposing sides defend their views. Take a look…
Comments
cheating is not good
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Your panel of women presented reasons for men cheating that were shallow and simplistic. There are a few common factors. But each couple has a unique dynamic that may drive the man to infidelity. I knew of a woman whose husband did not want to have anymore children. They already had two and he thought they had agreed to stop there. She deliberately deceived him saying she'd used birth control when she had not, and a third child was the result. Although I'm sure he loved the child as much as the other two, he never again felt he could trust his wife. He also believed she had never wanted to be touched intimately and either could not or would not experience an orgasm when they made love. It became a very mechanical and an even dangerous experience for him, fearing he might create yet another child. The result of all of this was that a wedge was driven between them, and he sought and found intimacy and honesty elsewhere. His wife was extraordinarily beautiful and in fact much more beautiful than his lover, but he saw his lover as far more beautiful and fell deeply in love with her, although he still love his wife and children. He did not perceive his beautiful wife as "sexy" at all. This is how complex it can be. The third party, his lover certainly did not come out unscathed either. I don't believe his wife ever knew her part in all this. The lover moved away so that she could get her life back, and the couple returned to their marriage but I doubt they ever fully resolved anything. The poor man was left with virtually nothing in his life he found emotionally satisfying or intimate. His lover once asked him if he ever looked into his wife's eyes when they kissed or had sex. He said "no." She asked ""what if you opened your eyes and she looked at you? " He said she would make fun of him or make a silly face. Get the picture? They were exactly the same age, in their early 30's, in case you're wondering. Who do you feel sorry for now?
Next time ask the men why they cheat..I bet the answer is going to be similar as what Bethany was saying....and the old guy at the end..he is full of crap..he says he felt nasty after he had been with a prostitute...first of all what street did you pick her up from....and you kept on going back...be real man...hey Anderson I'm sorry buddy I like you but not on this show....you are suppose to present both stories, reveal what they both have to say and try to let the viewers decide you is right or wrong...not stomp all over one party...I think you need to apologize to the puplic and your followers and to Bethany for making her look the bad guy
What a lop-sided episode. Mr. Anderson did very little to help marital relationships. He showed bias and was attacking of those women he invited to his show. It was my first time watching and I was disappointed by the abuse of his position. I've been married 32-years (faithfully) and I will tell you it's been a struggle at times and it's far more complicated than the way it's been painted on this show and people should have walked away understanding this.
Just got done watching this episode, and I cannot believe how the fact that many women use sex as a tool was not mentioned. Many women use sex to manipulate their partner into doing things for them or to punish their partner. When this happens, men will often start seeking intimacy elsewhere. It was rather interesting that the wives on the show want to blame Bethany and prostitution for their men cheating on them. They need to look at themselves and how they obviously are lacking in the ability to provide the needed intimacy that their husbands desire. Now this is not to say that it is always the woman's fault for men cheating. Many men cheat because they have intimacy issues of their own. Furthermore, I can't help but feel that people cheat because of their having premarital sex with multiple partners. Sex, like chocolate, is great. Once you open that box of chocolate and taste a few flavors you want to sample them all. On the other hand, if you have never had more than one flavor of chocolate, the one flavor you have had is and will always be the best chocolate ever.
Just watched this episode. I think American culture in general makes cheating seem like a norm and I know so many people (especially women) that have been crushed by infidelity. The connotation that comes with "wife" or "girlfriend" is often negative--"ball and chain" or "the old lady"--it is almost as if we (women) are labeled as sexually boring once the chase is over and we are won or caught.
Unfortunately, women subscribe to this cultural imprint as much as males and allow it to poison their own self-confidence. The other women were being so closed-minded and defensive because the prostitute and the mistress represent everything society tells wives they can no longer be, e.g. sexually exciting, or a chase. This issue goes way deeper than just chastising a prostitute for doing her job, it really lies with how little value our culture gives to women's role in relationships, and to monogamy and intimacy in general. Sex is exploited by people with much more power than a prostitute, so why blindly point fingers at people who don't deserve it?
Men are not helpless little creatures that need to be soothed into intimacy, if there is infidelity there is a problem. Either he's a jerk or there are fundamental issues with the relationship itself. Why doesn't each party take responsibility for their actions and grow up?
First of all I think everyone was to hard on Bethany...I am no one to judge but I have my own opinion...I do not support prostitutes whether they are legal or not....but if that is what they do then ok.... Its NOT the prostitutes nor the mistresses FAULT why your husband cheats on you....come on be real and open your eyes....you just married a loser,.....or its you that they don't want anymore....so don't go and start BLAMING others for your husbands actions....trust me they will cheat whether its costing them money or free....near or far....plain in simple you guys are probably mad because they rather spend money on another woman that could be you....and this was not even about sugar coating....its really no ones business what they do...so just think about it....you have 2 things to do you either let them cheat or get a divorice...your choice
Wow this is so biased. First of all, half the question is about whether or not it is ethical to be a prostitute, why not stay on topic? why not take questions from men in audience? I saw a few men raising their hands for questions, but none were taken. Also that lady in yellow, how she said to the women 'this is not your problem', as in generalizing that it is ALWAYS the men's fault, and how wives NEVER have to do anything to improve the marriage. This is one of the most biased things i've seen and totally reflects some of the flaws in societal views.
Come on!!! How about a show that talks about why good faithful men are are cheated on by lying girlfriends and wives? Oh Yes newsflash women do cheat also but no one feels sorry for the men they hurt.
How about a show were good faithful men have been cheated on by lying girlfriends and wives?
I felt that Anderson Cooper was way too judgmental about the prostitute and the former mistress. If men want to cheat, they will cheat whether there are prostitutes or not, in fact, my guess is most are cheating with other women. At least the prostitutes in Nevada are free from disease and safe. Women should not be pitted against one another. The man is making a choice, just as a woman is when she cheats. It is not a black and white issue but a gray one and every person's story is probably unique. Sometimes issues such as these cannot be dealt with so glibly in a few minutes, especially when you have so many guests on the same subject. There is so much attacking going on rather than a real attempt to try to understand what is going on in people's lives. If you blame a prostitute, then you need to also blame our popular culture which is sex obsessed and deals with sexuality in a very shallow manner. Check out statistics on how many young people are engaging in risky sexual behavior, especially unprotected oral sex. It is not helpful to anyone when people are scapegoated as these two women were today.
YOU HAVE A SHOW WHY MEN CHEAT? WHY NOT HAVE MEN UP THERE EXPLAINING WHY THEY CHEAT INSTEAD OF HAVING WOMEN EXPLAINING WHY THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. MEN HAVE DIFFERENT REASONS FOR CHEATING BUT THE COMMON PROBLEM IS WOMEN. ALL WOMEN HAVE SOME KIND OF ISSUE WHICH WEARS DOWN A RELATIONSHIP NO ONE IS PERFECT. MEN LOVE WOMEN AND I BET IF YOU ASK MOST MEN IF THEY CAN BE INLOVE WITH MORE THAN ONE WOMAN HE WOULD SAY YES. SO I THINK IT MORE OF BIOLOGICAL NATURE MEN CHEAT.
I'm sorry but the lady in the yellow shirt is wrong....it is them. I have yet to use a prostitute for any reason, but I have been tempted. I have been with my wife for 7 years and I have expressed to her my wanting her to wear nylons and garters etc. occasionally to spice things up. All she does is call me perverted and cheats on me. I don't even want her to do this every time but she still calls it gross and sick.....yet she finds it ok to go on vacation without me and have sex with black men in Jamaica....and I know this for a fact because after lying about it for three years i saw the film clips she made with the guy on her phone. She kept them on her phone card for three years! I was so devestated I couldn't believe it and her reaction was to get angry with me because she had been caught in her lies. It's you alright and you sound like a bitter woman as well. As a matter of fact you sound like my wife...I don't believe you for a split second. The therapist sounds like a lier and is making a whole bunch of money for trying to change a regular guy into a man that she is making feel guilty for liking sex. Intimacy is also having sex....get a grip on it lady.....not just cuddling and quiet talk....it's sex!
Out of the entire panel I liked the prostitute because first she has nothing to lose....all the others have a reputation, a job, a marrige etc to lose.....so they are all trying to make the man feel like it's all his fault and all in his head......BULL!
I bet they haven't listened and acted on what he likes as far as having sex goes with them and they probably don't want to because in thier opinion they think it's to dirty or they just don't want to. Well there's the problem because if they did do it like the way the man wants to occasionally....they wouldn't be going anywhere to meet with anyone.
Frank
Well Mr Anderson I would be more than happy to be the one on your show, to tell others who have. How would you like if it happen the other way around. And most men would answer I would kill her , then that answer my question. God Bless