Conversation Continues in Studio after Show: 'Should You Call the Cops on Your Kids?'

I truly don't even know where to begin. I'm a big Anderson Cooper fan and when I seen the topic of this particular show I was nothing short of intrigued. And then I watched it and the audience responses and the "expert"'s advice was incomphrehensible. The fact that someone had the audacity to say that Karen was a failure as a parent made my blood boil. The fact that the "expert" spent most of her time talking in circles and never answering direct questions or offering up sound advice...or sounded just as bias as half of the audience members, didn't help matters any either.

I am not a parent. I am the oldest child of a single parent.My brother is currently 17 and for the past three to four years he's had his fair share of difficulties. Not only have I had to watch my mom go through everything, but I've had to deal with it as well.We all have. I love my brother to pieces but I've watched my mom exhaust herself with trying to get him on the right track, and I've exhausted myself trying to be supportive as possible in the process. My brother has been involved in many things, truancy, petty theft,he hacks, he steals, he breaks in and enters, trespassing, selling stolen property, stealing from cars, failing grades, running away from anywhere from days to...I believe the longest time he's ran away was a month and a half. He's not one you'd typically classify as violent but there had been an incidents where he tried to. My mother, younger brother (who has special needs of his own) and I actually had a restraining order against him at one point. My mother and I spent every single day trying to reign him in. He broke into our rooms, he stole things from us...we couldn't even give him keys to the house, and we couldn't leave him home w/o one of us being there.

We had to call the cops on him a couple of times.And I don't think there is anything to apologize about in regards to that. He himself had tried a couple of times to call the police on my mother, claim he was being abused, neglected, not fed. He'd tell others so that they could call on his behalf. Fortunately they found the allegations to be false...because my brother is too rebellious, too defiant, and too disrespectful to any and every authority figure, that eventually his true colors always shine through to most around him. He was involved with an older woman, which was technically statutory rape.

My mother did everything...she still continues to do everything. We've done counseling, family counseling, individual counseling, reward systems and other forms of postive reinforcement.There have been support meetings, groups, and programs. We reached out to agencies and centers seeking help.I'm a graduate of a private school with a dual degree in Criminal Justice and Psychology. My mother is an active member of the community,she helps at risk youth, battered women, single mothers and young moms, she advocates for special needs children. She also has her hands full enough with my youngest brother who has Asperger's and partially deaf. Be it counselors or cops the same things were happening. We'd be sent in circles...told that things couldn't be done unless he was more at risk. He had to get into more trouble in order to be eligible for many programs. Even mentoring programs were a bust...he was on the waiting list to recieve a mentor for 10 YEARS. Both my mother and I in dealing with his everyday behaviour have surmised that he may be suffering from something mentally. We sent him to counselors, some said he was fine, others said they suspected a few issues but paperwork kept getting shuffled and we kept getting sent in every direction imaginable. we had counselors telling us to just "let him be". He ended up in juvenile court, being sent to juvenile facilities...but still wasn't "troubled" enough to actually recieve some services or help...plus they never make all of these services known or available. I can spend six pages just discussing how deplorable and ineffective juveniles facilties are. Hell, the overaged woman having sex with my brother the minor..was working at one of them. He's still troubled, still falling through the cracks, still wreaking havoc on the lives of everyone around him...and all we can do is pray and hope that things get better.

So watching this program with all of these people who most likely have no idea what it's like to deal with any of this...stand in judgment and degrade a woman and her parenting skills was despicable. And listening to an expert tell parents that counseling will help and to basically "try harder" was appalling. What does a parent do when they've done all that they could? I've watched my own mother get both criticized for calling the police on my brother, or for raising a kid who turned out so troubled, and basically be blamed for his being the way that he is. I've also seen my mother get praised by other parents who finally seen someone dealing with the same things they were dealing with...praised by the judge who also tried everything that she could to help my brother. I felt for Karen...because in a way it was like watching my mother..because I know what it's like, how frustrating it is, how emotionally and physically draining it is..with people judging you the entire time.

I think it's so easy to blame these parents and criticize the when a person hasn't experienced it themselves. Some kids out there are uncontrollable, and sometimes it does take law enforcement to get involved. You're damning the parents either way, because if they ignore the child's destructive, rebellious behavior than the parents are still held accountable for it, for being neglectful, but if parents call the police they're still made to seem like horrible people. Isn't it better to nip the behaviour in the bud before unleashing a child into the world to further get into deeper trouble with the law that may effect the general public? I found the cop to be equally as frustrating. Parents are held legally responsible and can get into legal trouble if their child is truant. So if their kid continues to miss school the parent is held responsible for it, but if the parent calls the cops on their truant child they're horrible parents abusing the system? there is no winning! Corporal punishment as at the very least discouraged (although we've actually had a cop or two suggest that we do it...), so parents can be held liable for child abuse if they physically punish their child. Counseling strives for reward systems and positive reinforcement which gives wiggle room for a child to never be held accountable for their negative behavior. And we teach young kids at an early age to call the cops. We as a society have restricted parents, tied their hands, but in the process have given children control and power...and yet frown upon or attack the parent for trying to work within the realms of what they've been given and seeking help from the system. What do parents do when couseling doesn't work? what do they do when they can't afford counseling anymore? or when services are backed up? Or when they aren't available because their child doesn't fit the criteria? What do parents do when potential services they could utilize aren't even made known to them? What do parents do when no matter how hard the push forward and advocate for their child getting the help that he/she deserves they run into obstacles, lost paperwork,red tape,technicalities? because I've watched my mom face all of that for years! Her entire life has revolved around a troubled child for years, our entire household has revolved around a troubled child for years. I've watched her exhaust every possibilty she can, devote every waking hour to doing all that she could. I don't count her as a failure. I don't consider her as bad parent. The notion that all children are a reflection of their parents is an embellished fallacy. I graduated from a prestigous college that I attended on a full academic scholarship, with a degree in Psychology and Criminal Justice, and am currently in Law School. My brother is a troubled teenager with learning disabilites, a more than likely undiagnosed mental disorder, who has had run ins with the law.Same strong, healthy household, different kids. My point in saying that isn't even to speak negatively about my brother whom I love, but rather to point out that troubled kids are not always the result of crappy parents. Having an Uncontrollable and/or troubled child/teen can happen to anyone...regardless of parenting skills. Good parents can still have troubled children.

As someone who studies Psychology, I found the Dr, her advice, and her inability to be impartial, objective, or even helpful for that matter insulting to the field. It seemed like the entire show veered towards attacking these poor parents on stage rather than actually attempting to understand what they were going through. I felt as though I were watching someone stand in front of a firing squad. It left me speechless when I found that save for that one gentleman no one in the audience had anything sympathetic to say. I've seen more diverse opinions on this issue in the comments. I hate that those women were practically villanized for their actions. I just hope that by my and many others commenting that parents like those on today's show know that they are not alone, and that people like those in the audience cast their judgments aside long enough to see that this issue is prevalent and that not all parents seeking out help from the authorites are bad parents. But most importantly (even though I know that if it did happen to them they'd be able to fully comprehend it) I hope they never have to deal with what those parents on the show and some of the parents and relatives and friends commenting dealt with.