Is Spanking Your Child a 'Natural Parenting Instinct?'
Thursday, December 01, 2011 6:47PM
Christian fundamentalist pastor Michael Pearl's controversial book "To Train Up a Child," touts that God wants you to spank your kids. He suggests using a ruler on a 2-year-old if the child has done something wrong. He calls it spanking, but others says what he's advocating is hitting.
In this clip from the show, Anderson asks Pearl, "Why is it okay to hit a child? But if you went out in the workplace and hit a person, that's not okay?"
Pearl answers that he's emulating the real world, so children learn consequences of their deeds. He also says that spanking is a natural parenting instinct.
Watch his full answer...
Do you agree with Pearl's principles? Continue the conversation.
Filed Under: As Seen On The Show
Comments
I find it incredible that people insist on bring out extremists like this guy so that spanking sounds utterly ridiculous! There should be no rulers, belts or extension cords, but a swat on a child's behind is harmless and gets a point across, that the child is NOT to engage in that behavior ever again!!!!
I find it incredible that people think the only way to produce polite, well-behaved, obedient children is to hit them! I made the mistake of trying spanking as a method of behavior modification on my son when he was a toddler and it never worked. It just made me feel out of control and angry and it forced a disconnect to my son. You can't continually cause pain to another person without numbing yourself to their distress. I felt that this was intolerable and inhuman. I quickly abandoned spanking and never used it with my daughter. Time outs, loss of privileges, etc. were much more effective. I now have two very polite, happy, straight A high school students. They have never been in any sort of trouble. They make very good decisions and have chosen very nice friends that are also really great kids. There ARE plenty of kids out there that have turned out wonderfully without their parents beating them! I only have one friend you used corporal punishment in her home. In the name of religion, her husband (her son's stepfather) hit him with a belt regularly. She finally left this monster and it was YEARS before her son started coming out of his shell. I have literally watched him blossom as he distances himself from those experiences. If you are resorting to violence against your child then your overall parenting style is failing. Step back and ask if you are expecting too much or exerting unreasonable control. If you feel like you have to hit your kids YOU are doing something wrong.
I believe that the comments here about whether spanking is advantageous and efficacious are really a moot point. The Foxes themselves who seem to present themselves as experts in spanking have stated that they don't even use Pearl's plumbing line and deviate from his prescribed method.
Pearl's rod and his methods are not consistent with what most people consider spanking. I believe that what Pearl teaches grossly exceeds what most people consider to be the traditional practice, therefore, I believe that focusing on whether spanking is efficacious or even Biblical is nothing more than a red herring fallacy to distract from the specifics of the tragic outcomes that result from the subjective nature of Pearl's guidelines of practice (continue until they break or are breathless and a toddler exhaling as if they've had a karate chop) and the use of plumbing line.
Even the title of the show (extreme discipline) draws some distinction between Pearl and corporal punishment in general. The citing of research studies that defend spanking are not applicable IMO because Pearl's method is distinctly different. I would like to see studies of the physical science of how many joules can be delivered with that plumbing line and how that unique instrument affects bodily tissue in children, especially. The families of Lydia and Hana-Grace used Pearl's recommended implement. I'd like to see studies regarding the superficial and deep tissue effects of that implement, verified by some medical data (vascular studies).
Pearl mentioned a study at Calvin College. I would like to know if subjects in that study used plumbing line and spanked until the child was broken before that data is qualified as relevant. Did the researcher even include and capture data regarding Pearl's system and specific implements as discrete variables of consideration in the study? If the study concerns spanking in general, it is an argument to support spanking but not Pearl's method in question.
Yeah, none of that even made sense. It was like a contest to see how many oxymorons and contradictions could be crammed into a single paragraph.
the perfectionism, the performance based mindset, the fear mongering, having spiritual authority figures to obey without question, the restrictions of all emotions except being happy, the seeing all things in black and white; it's all these legalistic concepts which is the integral part of fundamentalist thinking that drove me away from all things fundamentalism.
We are glad to see folks say how the show was skewed. we were the family sitting next to Rev. Pearl.
we have a blog which states FACTS not emotional twists on real, true spanking: http://biblicalspanking.blogspot.com/
Please understand that spanking is NOT abuse. It's not by any standard except for misunderstood folks with bad experiences either directly or indirectly. It's not with the State's and certainly NOT with God.
There are over 10 real, applicable scriptures that not only support spanking, but COMMAND parents if they love their children, they will spank their children.
You may or may not agree with the Bible, but it is what it is.
Many opponents of spanking often are ignorant that spanking is not the ONLY method. As I spoke on the show, Rev. Pearl's book was all about "relatioship" not spanking or physical discipline. Spanking is only one of MANY factors in lovingly training your child. That' like saying because you had only one class of history in your 12 years of schooling as a child, you are a historian.
If you administer proper training which includes spanking you will see what someone already mentioned; respectful, polite, disciplined, caring and loving people. That is fact.
Also, fyi, the ridiculous researach that most pull out of a hat to use as "statistics" against spankings are almost ALWAYS irrelivant and innacurate. They are Meta-Research or Correlational0-Base research; neither which conclude facts relevant to actual spanking results. (read our blog)
I could not have been in anymore of an outrage watching today's episode. I am 22 years old, a senior in college, and I clearly do not have children right now. As a child growing up, I received multiple spankings. I thank my mom and dad repeatedly for this. Every year of college I have had different teachers tell me how respectful and mindful I am or the people, things, and people of authority around me. Needless to say, I was one of few if any other students received this comment at all. By being disciplined, and I'm not referring to being abused, but discipline has taught me that when you misbehave, or act out in an unruly manor, there will be consequences. This is why our world is so messed up these days. Kids have no discipline. They are allowed to get away with anything. When comparing myself to my fellow colleagues, it's absolutely ridiculous how easy it is to decipher who was raised properly and disciplined, compared to those who weren't.
My sister-in-law is a first grade teacher. She has to break up fist fights between students all the time. Often resulting in injuries herself. For example, the one kid that turned around and kicker her so hard it broke her toe. THESE ARE THE KIDS THAT NEEDS THEIR BOTTOMS BEAT! There is no reason for children to act this way. Children are our future, correct? Well I'm certain that I do not need a poorly mannered, behaved, or attitude child running any type of important role in society anytime in my near future.
Blessed are the balance!
when young am corrected by words, punishment or spanking and when I grow i know by conscience what right and wrong.
I spent more time with the outside world with friends and colleague than cuddling with the love of my parent, so I will be much thankful to train me well rather than hugging me and kissing me ... thus I'll train my kid with love if necessary spanking but not out of anger I will not spank other kid or other because I don't have much concern about their character neither I don't love them as I love my kids . You laid your hand and also you sacrificed to shows how much you concern their future by not comforting the moment ...
why is this evil man not incarcerated. In Europe he would never get away with such behaviour. Fundamentalist interpret the Bible literally, they are the very same as muslims they interpret the koran literally. How come all those bible thumpers are southern? and oh so stupid I lived among them for 18 years. Another belief they have is so long as you go to church sunday and wednesday evening and are born again you are saved regardless of y past our behaviour. Pure Evil NB
I had to comment after watching this show today. I can't stand these religious followers who believe these preachers that insist children need to be beaten because that's what God wants. If you walk into a church and are told to beat your kids, or any other immoral and ILLEGAL act, turn around and walk back out! I also can't stand these parents who say that they only spank their kids when it's a dangerous situation, like walking out in front of a car. I have three kids who have never been spanked and they've never walked out in front of a moving car, ever! All this damage being done to kids so young...how unnecessary. Shame on them.
I looked at this guy's website and couldn't FIND ANYTHING that qualifies him to tell anyone how to raise children. Where is the salvation story he and his wife should have. That isn't there either. If he claims to be a pastor where did he go to school? He and his wife have lots of claims none of which can be backed up with sound evidence or doctrine.
I don't have any children but was spanked as a child. I hated the spankings when I was young but realized when I grew up it was the best thing in the world. It was one of the ways my parents taught me to respect my elders and authority which in my opinion is greatly lacking in our society. A lot of young people today have no respect for anyone. A teacher told me that she is going to retire because the behavior is so out of hand in the class room. Time out needs to go back to the drawing board because it isn't working properly.
I have thought all your shows were balanced until this one. I was so dissapointed that you cut off guests and didn't let the ones that you disagreed with speak. You gave plenty of time to the extremely biased pychologist who said animals don't spank their young. Well, I know animals very well, and they do bite, kick, and chase away from the herd the young that are misbehaving. I am also a teacher and I definitely see a difference between the children of parents who spank and those that don't. The children who were spanked when young are generally polite, well adjusted and respectful. The undisciplined children are generally self centered, more violent and disrespectful. I hope to see you go back to balanced reporting. I have never read this book but you did not give a fair hearing to the author, who did seem very reasonable and patient with you.
Anderson Cooper and his audience all clearly seemed to be against any spanking. What is disappointing is that Michael Pearl was never allowed to explain the context of when and how to spank without constantly being interrupted. I also find it interesting that the vast majority of people who hold the view that children should not be trained in a similar fashion to how good trainers train animals are the same people who want the schools to teach that we and the apes are one and the same. Talk about having it your way no matter what!
First of all, Anderson you are not a parent so you don't understand the responsibility of raising children. Both my children had spankings and they say they would not be the people they are today had I not taught them there were concequences to every action. We have a whole generation of young adults that have no direction or aims. They leave school and end up having medicore jobs and lives because they were not given the right kind of disapline as children. I could take my children and grandchildren anywhere and they behaved not out of fear ,but because they were taught to behave in public.
I don't care for the Dr.'s book as a whole because I can not see putting my leg over a small childs back just to spank them, that is asking for trouble. You are bigger than a child so you wouldn't need to do that.
I felt that at about age 12 they were old enough to have gotten the message and the only time I used corporal punishment was if the transgression could have been harmful to my child or was beyond rude, otherwise we talked and they determined the length of the grounding. I was a single parent so I really had to keep a tight reign on them. I really like your show and think you have very interesting guests. Hang in there and you may get a Emmy your first season. A fan
PS Just a light note for you. Back in the 40's my mother work as a waitress at a Bar/Diner. One night when the kitchen closed down and all was put away a group of good looking guys came in looking for more than drinks. My mother explained to the gentleman asking for food that the Kitchen was closed. He was very persitent and kept asking finally asying "I'm Ky Ky Kyler, you'll fix me something to eat won't you?" (Ky Ky Kyler was a famious baseball player) My mother tired from working over eight hours and tired of his persistence said, "I don't care if you Rin Tin Tin, the kitchen is closed." His buddies and he took it with grace and laughing for awhile let her be.
I hope you enjoyed one of my family funny stories. Have a good day.