Is Spanking Your Child a 'Natural Parenting Instinct?'
Thursday, December 01, 2011 6:47PM
Christian fundamentalist pastor Michael Pearl's controversial book "To Train Up a Child," touts that God wants you to spank your kids. He suggests using a ruler on a 2-year-old if the child has done something wrong. He calls it spanking, but others says what he's advocating is hitting.
In this clip from the show, Anderson asks Pearl, "Why is it okay to hit a child? But if you went out in the workplace and hit a person, that's not okay?"
Pearl answers that he's emulating the real world, so children learn consequences of their deeds. He also says that spanking is a natural parenting instinct.
Watch his full answer...
Do you agree with Pearl's principles? Continue the conversation.
Filed Under: As Seen On The Show
Comments
the earlier generations was spanked and had more rules and there was less rapes less murders and less crime, the parenting now is time out or tell them no or take away there teddy bear that is a terrible way of parenting in my mind kids need to know there is DIRE things that can happen for there actions, they are not going to get time out when they are 25 we are here to raise our children not baby them, you cannot be there best friend and a parent both you choose one role or the other!!! i was spanked as a kid i never once have been out trying to pick fights and this is just one case!! it always makes me sooo mad when you see these spoiled little kids and there mom or dad is talking baby talk telling them to act right or they will get time out or get no tv that night,,,, i see that and i want to spank the parents cause all they have taught there kids is they can get away with anything they want!!!! a good swat on the butt once in the while is the best medicine for acting up, it shows them there are REAL actions for acting out !!! this is not a very forgiving world and to raise kids any other way then to be real with them should be whats against the law \m/
I was spanked, and it never taught me to hit, it taught me not to do the things i was spanked for. you can tell the people who say "spanking only teaches hitting" or "spanking is abuse" have obviously never been spanked as a kid and were obviously never actually beaten. Get beaten, then you'll know the difference between a swat on the butt and getting kicked in the gut by bullies. and you people saying that spanking is for lazy parents, again, obviously have never used spanking. while you "ignore bad behavior" by texting all day on your phones and neglect your kids, I'm watching my child, interacting with my child, explaining WHY actions are detrimental and actually getting off my butt to correct bad behavior. I mean seriously, who is the lazy parent in that scenario? Haven't you noticed that the more the media tried to make spanking taboo, the more "religious experts" they use, instead of regular people who just believe in spanking? Haven't you noticed that the more spanking becomes taboo, the worse kids behave? and I'm sick of the whole "you're supposed to have age appropriate expectations for your child" crap. my two year old knows her letters, how to count to 25, how to add, dinosaur names, etc. because I refuse to treat her like an incapable lump. It all comes back to the media that block studies that prove the benefits of spanking because it doesn't jive with their agenda. google the study done by Doctor Gunnoe, it states that spanked children are less likely to be depressed, be violent, be bullies, they statistically do better in school and are more successful adults. so go google the study that the media purposefully kept from americans. afterall, you cant make children the perfect bratty consumer if parents are allowed to actually discipline them. all you anti-spankers are purely products of blind faith, laziness, and propaganda. wake the frick up already!
Get educated! Spanking is the unnecessary and dangerous tool of a lazy parent. 32 countries outlaw it and have entire adult populations who were raised without violence proving it is unnecessary. That is MILLIONS of people who didn't have to be hit in order to develop into healthy adults. There is no excuse for continuing to follow this archaic, dangerous method of rearing children. Please, get educated!
I TOTALLY agree with him! These children have lost morals and respect in this day and age. If GOD says I can spank my child then I be DAMN, NOBODY is gonna tell me not to. I am a single mother of 4 children and my oldest 15 is an ANGEL because I use to tear her behind up! If it worked on her, it will work on my teen son and little ones. The difference IS is that the little ones SEE what to do and not to do. They are also learning by example. Teach them at an early age so you don't have to bail them out of jail later. If you think you can do better then that, take them!!! Guaranteed you will bring them back...
I wish people would educate themselves a little better..."On Becoming" is a great series of books for Christians on child raising, the focus is NOT discipline, though an important aspect of parenting, disciplining children should never be the main focus of parenting...the Pearls have some pretty abusive views on bringing up children and marriage. Sad how many women and children have been subject to heavy handed abuse while people are using the "ideals" of their literature. The lack of discretion and discernment some people have is sickening.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with spanking. It is not wrong not to spank. How a person raise their child is based on there choice. I hope at the end of the day both methods will lead the child into a successful adult life.
I think time outs and taking toys away are the first and second methods of disciplining a child. The last disciplinary action for the parents should do is spanking on the child's bottom. It teaches a child to listen, respect and obey (LRO) that mommy or daddy is not playing games. Too much spanking can also damage a child in emotionally, mentally and physically and disciplining is no longer be effectived ways but instead tension between a child and a parents occured. In other words disciplining your child with love. That means parents control the tune of your voice, speak clear and concise, make an eye level to the child, and discipline (spank only once on their bare bottom if that is the number 3 disciplining method) Being a parent is not an easy job to do especially if you are brand new parents. We hope that there is direction or manual once your child is born on that day but its not like that. It is a tough job!
The definition of abuse(mental and emotional torture) in my opinion is forcing a 2, 3 or 4 year old child whose brain will not be fully developed for about a decade to be given time out to reflect on their own behavior for 2, 3 or 4 minutes after they have made a poor choice. I much rather prefer the more humane approach of two quick stinging swats to the tail (a total of less than 5 seconds)after explaining to them their poor choice has consequences and watching their little minds working it out with the idea that "that choice stings and I ain't doing that again Lord willing"! -Amen. God disciplines a lot harder than two swats to the tail.
I raise my daughter who is now 9 years old by dicipline and having a high standard in what I expect out of her when she is an adult. this is what I say to her when I have to dicipline her "Honey, it is my job to teach you and build your self esteem enough so when it is time to be an responsible adult who contributes to socitety, you will be ready"
, which by the way dicipline does NOT equal abuse.
I will in no way shape or form enable my child (cut off her wings as I like to call it) so she is not prepared for the world and for life. I find it appauling and disguisting that parents want to keep thier children sheltered and on the tit for thier whole lives. My daugter is an only child, so attacthed to me she already is, but I make it very clear that I am MOM, not FRIEND...and I will take the authoritive role if necessary but I have not had to do that in a long time BECAUSE of the dicipline. As a result, we do everything together, she respects me, adults, elderly, handicap and everyone else. I get countless compliments on how well behaved and mature she is for her age and she got the "award of respect" at her school this year for the whole 3rd grade class. I did not breast feed and she turned out to a pretty awesome kid, how did I do it (a single mom as well) by DICIPLINE. I can wait to hear about all the enabling partents out there in 10 years how thier kids ended up, I bet I can predict the outcome. This attatchment parenting is a slow silent distructful parenting, therefore that is what I call it. To me its no different than cutting off thier legs so they can not walk for themselves and I refuse to cut off my daughters legs.
Is it OK to cut a child? Take a moment to think before you automatically condemn all pediatric surgeons. Why is it OK for a pediatric surgeon to cut a child, but not OK for that surgeon to go out on the street and stab people?
Intent makes a huge difference.
He should have asked Did you guys call each other up this morning and coordinate your purple outfits?
I am raising three kids now. The oldest is 5 years old. The second is 2 years old and the youngest is 1 year old. I love my kids and I thought I would never hit them when I have a kid. Now I do. I hit them from wires to belts to sticks. It hurt them so much that they would just wiggled on the floor crying so hard. I felt so bad after hitting them especially when they get bruised. Now I know that hitting is NOT the right way to parenting. I know this by my 2 years old son. When I hit him and he remembered it. So next time when he gets angry he hits other infants or toddlers when they are playing together. I can see that if I keep hitting him he will become bully or can become low-self esteem when he grows up and failed in many possibilities in life. I talked with my wife and we wrote a commitment letter to ourselves not to hit them anymore. We just started to change two weeks ago and I can all ready see the positive results of my son and daughters. Instead of hitting them, I told them exactly what they did wrong and the right thing to do next time. So they get the timed out this time for not doing the right thing. I also tried to hug them after I timed out them. I can see that they look at me differently and listen and have the respect. I think this is the right track to start but we're not sure either. Any parents please give us suggestion if you read this. I don't want to hit my kids anymore. Thanks so much.
I believe that there is nothing wrong with spanking if it is done in moderation and when approprait. I am not advocating "beating a child" but sometimes limits must be set. Children learn by testing the system, by pushing the limits and trying to find out what they can get away with. If there are no limits that produce undisirable results you are producing a monster who will control you and once on their own will continue to act out in sociaty.
This is the problem in sociaty today. We have a whole generation of adults that never leaned cause and effect. They have no respect for anyone because they never learned to respect anyone. We comunicate electronically and feel very little actual emotion except for our selves.
I was spanked as a child by a responsible parent who tought me that I should respect parents and others who are older and wiser than me. I was never harmed, I never suffered injury except to my pride, there were never marks or bruses but I learned that rules are to there for a reason and I am responsible for what I do and who I hurt through my actions.
Kids need to be able to express anger, frustration, etc, but they also need to learn the acceptable way of expressing emotions, hitting only reinforces the WRONG behavior.
Ye, no, this clown is confusing lack of self control with actual parenting.