She Forgave the Teen Who Almost Killed Her: Could You?
Monday, November 28, 2011 5:15AM
When Ryan Cushing was apprehended for throwing a frozen turkey at Victoria Ruvolo’s car, which crashed, sending her into a coma for a month, he faced 25 years in prison.
After hearing this sentence, Victoria decided she wanted to learn more about the teen who did this to her, and understand what would drive him to commit this random act of violence.
She decided she didn’t want him to “rot in jail” and instead insisted on a lighter sentence.
“Because of me, he got six months in jail with five years probation, with community service and psychiatric help,” says Victoria. “I always said God gave me a second chance, so I just passed it on.”
Filed Under: As Seen On The Show
Comments
What's Ryan doing now?
Why is there no follow up story on Ryan, the kid that she forgave? I would like to know that her gracious act of forgiveness had really change a young man's life. That would be very encouraging. Please update us the follow up story of Ryan.
Victoria took the opportunity to have a very positive impact on the life of a young person. She is my HERO today. Her story is amazing and inspiring.
Forgiveness - one way to define it, as it seems Victoria does, and I agree with, is to let go of the power someone has to make you suffer.
I am a victim of rape and, over some time, through my Buddhist practice of chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and the support of wonderful friends and a good therapist, I regained my sense of self and felt back in control. The stronger I felt, the less impact his actions had. It was a process ... I determined to change poison into medicine, and determined that "You are not going to keep taking my happiness from me! I will grow in my compassion towards others!"
I felt within my heart that I forgave the man who committed this horrible violation when I was able to let go of the anger. This does not mean that what he did was okay - not by any means! It means he no longer could continue to do it, emotionally.
I now work with victims and offenders who want to have a facilitated dialogue, and with prisoners in a Maryland prison in the Alternatives to Violence Project (www.avpusa.org). Seeing the humanity in each person creates hope, and that's the way I prefer to live.
Thank you for reading, and I hope anyone in pain finds healthy support in their healing.
Dear Anderson,
This show just opened my eyes. On April 25th,2010 my husband & I were coming home from eating out and we were about 1 mile from home and we were plowed into from the rear by a 2010 Ford 250 and we were driving a Honda Civic 2005. He flipped us over and left us to die and by the grace of God we are here today. I do not remember the accident but my husband saved me from being beheaded from going through the sunroof of the car. Anderson, my husband was 63years o****e and I was 68yrs at this time. This man was 65 yrs old and drunk and does not remember the accident and he continued to drive his truck and stopped at a local roadside eatery where he almost hit a young lady and her 9 year old boy and he was apprehended by police.....long story short, he is due to be in court this Jan. I now feel different after watching your show and I'm starting to feel forgiveness in my heart for this man. My husband, who almost had his arm ripped off and has had extensive surgery, and PT is hoping he lands in jail. I have to tell you I felt this way before I saw Victoria and I was not injured as badly as she was but very seriously hurt. My husband went back to work after two months and still continues his PT in New York. He had surgery at MA General in Boston and PT locally until going back to work. He is a Mech. and Structural Engineer who works for Rotator Staffing and works for NYPA. Thank God we have some income coming in because he has no Insurance and needs to work. We also had to close our custom home business because he is not able to do the lifting required and he is bitter over this. He is in NY and I take care of the home here in Blue Hill, ME. This home is now too large with the office closed and we are going to think of downsizing because I do not have the energy I had before this accident but I have to take care of the home front while he is in New York.......He is a strong man and we both have always been full of life and very active. I feel I am having some forgiveness for this man and I'm sure my husband wants him to go to jail because it is not his first offense. I just had to get this off my chest.
I LOVE your show and would not miss it one day!!!!!
My very best regards to you and your beautiful mother, hug her for me.
My Best, Pat Hadley
Re: forgiveness given to teen who threw turkey
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision. I heard a story a long time ago that has helped me to forgive people quicker. By making the decision to forgive quickly, it really does set me free. I don't dwell on the circumstances. I just move on. And if i remember the past and the emotions come back, I remind myself I forgave the person and quickly forget what lies behind and move forward to the future. The story I heard really did make a difference in the way I forgive people now. Merry Christmas
what a wonderfull women if more people thought like her we might just change this world to how it should be not full of anger and revenge and hate but kindness understanding and hope
My brother Kevin was killed instantly by a rock thrown by a passing vehicle with its lights off. Kevin was 38 years old, a husband and the father of three boys, ages 3, 7 and 9. At the sentencing hearing of one of the boys I asked to meet with the driver and discussed us going around to schools when he got out of jail. He had been a good kid and was truly sorry for what he did. I believe he was abused in jail. He is now doing time for attempted murder, rape. In my opinion the system failed him. He was a teenager tried as an adult. The rock thrower is out of jail and I don't know what he's doing. Teenagers need education about the horrible effects their pranks have after they drive off laughing.
WTG Vickie!!! You are right the only one that should have control over you is you. Six years ago a young man fire bombed my property and I did the same as you, I went to court and asked for a lesser sentence. This young 21 yr old was on a probation for one year, had to do community service and take drug rehab without serving time in prison. Kids think from their ass rather than their brains and if they would just think for that one second, rather than act they would not, 99% of the time do the action. More people should learn to forgive and most of all understand because many times you are passing on the hurt and hate NOT the love.
I believe that I could forgive a person for making a mistake, but at the same time I would be neutral on a sentencing. Meaning, I would not push for a lighter sentence or a more punishable one. Why? Because I believe that all people are responsible for their actions, except a baby who cannot yet think for themselves. Regardless of if you are 15 or 50, at that age you know right from wrong. Someone cannot make up the excuse of "oh, well I was not thinking". If you make a mistake, you accept the consequences that follow. Adult or not.. plain and simple.
I understand where Victoria is coming from..I on the other hand lost a son to a senseless act of murder...I forgave the young man who shot my son, but the justice system had enough of him and because he did not tell us why, the judge gave him 15 to Life as his sentence. We knew the young man and felt that we as a society had failed him and he needed another chance...All we want to know is why!
Forgive? Forget? NEVER. I would find out/study everything about the hateful person who perpetrated the ugly crime, and I'd begin the hunt of a lifetime. I would insure he/she never earned a penny from any job, would make sure this person never had the ability to marry, and do everything in my power to make it impossible for them to pass their seed of hatred along. Their lives would be a lifetime of looking over their shoulders for fear of when the strike would come, would fear every shadow they were surrounded by, and never had the ability to look into another mirror. We need to stop mander pandering these idiots of hatred and put them away. If we don't, these sick little individuals will continue to carry on knowing that the courts and the liberal victims will forgive. NEVER!!!!
With the question of whether or not any individual could possibly forgive/forget those responsible for causing another individual permanent injury such as what happened to Victoria Ruvolo, NO. I would begin a regiment of understanding everything about the hurtful person, and I personally would begin a hunt. A lengthy and long period of time in which the perpetrator would spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder with the knowledge that it was I that was hunting him. I would meticulously insure that he was never paid a dime in earning, would never be married, and would never have children to spread his lineage of hatred to, nor ever had a day to smile. There would not be a hole big enough, deep enough or far away enough for this sick individual to hide on this planet.
My husband tryed to kill me(shot me in the neck at close range)and then waited three hours for me to die.I forgave him!Then I had a near life experience could see us below myself.Such a peace.I was left paralyzed from the armpits down.
Truly amazing story. But they didn't give an update on him. Hopefully he is doing some good and taking advantage of his second chance.