Can You Be Emotionally Connected to Two People at Once?
Thursday, November 03, 2011 5:30AM
In past shows on polygamy, Anderson shared the story of one man living with multiple wives -- a situation mostly tied to religion and tradition. On Thursday’s show, we meet Jaiya, who chooses to live with two men in her life, Jon and Ian.
The threesome, who are in a polyamorous relationship, live and raise a child together.
They say they are able to connect and love one another equally, but do you believe it?
In this clip from Thursday's show, watch how Jaiya, John and Ian answer this very question, "Can you really be emotionally connected to two people at once"
Filed Under: As Seen On The Show
Comments
I think people are just jealous because Jaiya got two men on both arms; she's straight up pimpin'. LOL. All kidding aside, people in this country grow up with this BS fantasy of 1 man 1 women relationship as seen in movies like Sleeping Beauty or Titanic. Then this type of relationship is socially, and somewhat legally, enforced by religious institutions. Most of the people making negative comments about this lifestyle are probably in a bad relationship themselves. As if adding a child to the equation made any difference to how all three of them love each other. It's not like they're going to have sex in front of the child or something. I don't think they need to explain their relationship to other people because it's none of our business. Let's face the facts, the number of new marriages is going down, divorce rate is still close to 50%, and more people are starting to call themselves none religious. Polyamory, open relationships, call them what you want but these kinds of relationship were bound to happen and they're going to show up even more. So to all the haters, stop telling people what they can or can not do in their own bedroom and get off your high horse thinking their relationship is somehow inferior to yours.
because polyamory is not accepted most people choose to cheat to close the gap in their relationship but imagine having three people rear a child and financial support. in other countries families can build wealth by having the immediate family stay under one roof. also women can go all night whereas a lot of men arent so lucky so shes always getting hers at the end of the day.think of all the countless jokes of men not being able to please their partner well she has nothing to complain about
This show is about polyamory, not polygamy. None of them are married, so there is no polygamy. Also not all polyamorous relationships are physical/sexual. Some are emotional/nonsexual. Finally polyamory relationships can be open or closed, depending on those involved.
Response to Observer. Calling me anti-American is a bit extreme don't you think? First of all I never said I wanted to prevent anyone from living any lifestyle they choose to live, within limits of the law. I wouldn't want to condone the lifestyle of pedophiles would you?
By the way, who are you to judge what is anti-American? As far as I know Polygamy is against the law in the United States so is that law anti-American?
If what you say is true, Anderson should have invited an older polyamorous family to talk about their lives together.
For the record, as an "enemy of freedom" I am totally in favor of gay rights and gay marriage as long as they are committed to one person.
Response to Ian Ferguson. You have made quite a few assumptions yourself.
Let me make myself crystal clear, I am not out to prevent anyone from living the way they choose including these so-called polyamorous people, but I don't have to applaud it either. If they are going to flaunt their unconventional lifestyle on TV they are going to have to deal with a myriad of opinions about it.
I never said people cannot find other types of emotional fulfillment with others outside of a primary relationship, but they don't have to have sex with these people to do it. Too many people incorrectly use the word sex and love or emotion interchangeably. Sex is a selfish physical act and has very little to do with love or commitment. I noticed that none of those people on the show talked about what they get from outside relationships besides sex.
I think we may have a different definition of "total allegiance". I don't think anyone has a right to demand total emotional allegiance from anyone else. I am not a big supporter of traditional marriage. There are many things about marriage and even some committed relationships that I find unrealistic, however, fidelity is not one of them for so many reasons.
I have to wonder if sex was not part of the deal if any of these polyamorous groups would be together just for emotional freedom.
The word amorous means, "showing or feeling sexual desire", so let's not pretend this is about love. Jaiya Ma even called these two guys her lovers, not her life partners. People are free to live the way they want, but in my opinion, these are just three immature, shallow individuals who are unwilling to commit to one person in a relationship without a sexual open door policy. They are selfish. This is all about them and their sexual needs.
Ma may think this is an ideal situation right now, but I wonder how she will feel in a few years when these guys no longer find her sexually attractive. I'd like to know how many older polyamorous couples there are, my guess is there aren't many.
I agree with the woman in the audience who said if someone doesn't care if his or her partner is having an intimate relationship with someone else they can't be truly emotionally invested in their relationship. In response to Ian's San Diego girlfriend, if someone feels the need to go to someone else to fulfill himself or herself then the person they are with is inadequate for them.
Personally, I think these people are suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It may take a village to raise a kid, but the villagers don't have to live in the same house.
For the record, I think that "having sex on the side" is unacceptable in any committed relationship.
Of course a person can form an emotional connection with more than two people. Every sustained relationship one forms is an emotional connection, and it's not like they go away because another one forms. The idea of One True Love overriding all of those others, squelching their signals and eating all attention, is simply unrealistic.
I think most people, at one time or another in their life, becomes connected to two people at one time. How many people have been married for years, then meet someone else they "click" with and also develop feelings for them, yet they still love their spouse and wouldn't leave them? Some people act on those feelings and cheat, others repress them. The difference with polyamory is you neither have to lie and cheat nor repress your feelings.
Polyamory: She sure looks and seems happy!!
I really admire the honesty it took to come out to talk about what it means to love and to be married. We apparently have forgotten the tradition, it takes a village to raise a child and I want to remind everyone that in a culture where 50% of marriages end in divorce and women are left to raise their kids alone... we are not a culture that should be pointing any fingers and judging how someone can love.
Just wanted to point out that this woman, Jaiya, said she was a "sexually empowered woman". Which is really just a nicer way to say "loose".