VOTE: Do You Still Talk to Your Exes?
Thursday, October 13, 2011 8:12AM
Developmental Psychologist Dr. Michelle Callahan says it's a huge red flag if your significant other is still communicating with his or her ex. Some people believe it's possible to stay friends with an ex -- do you?
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Comments
Its time to acknowledge that people can mature and deal with past issues and relationships in a healthy way this is especially true for divorced persons wioh children who do not need to be caught in a contest between parents. Perhaps a few sessions with a therapist may help clear the way for moving on in a healthy way rather than staying in a negative frame of mind after divorce.
I think it really depends on how the relationship broke off. Not all relationships work. But if there was cheating, disrespect, abuse etc involved...definitely keeping in touch with the ex is ut of question. Again, when a relationship breaks, one person gets hurt more than the other (the person who didn't want it to break). It is very likely that that person will continue to have feelings for the partner and look for any excuse to keep in touch with him/her...and this provides ideal situation for an 'accident'.
I would say, if people have respect and love for their current partners, they should not keep in touch with their ex. Why make your partner worry and/or be suspicious? If you have started a new relation and want to make an effort to make it work, being in touch with the ex is definitely not a good idea.
Besides, why do you want the former and current partners to make guesses on how you 'performed' with them?
This is always kind of a funny topic for me. I don't have any children with exes, so that doesn't matter in my situation, but I am absolutely best friends with two of my ex boyfriends. I'm fairly good friends with a couple others. We keep in touch, celebrate each others happiness and accomplishments, confide in each other, give each other advice... everything that I would do with any friend in my life.
I'm very happily married, and my husband knows about all of my friendships with my exes, and is perfectly fine with all of them. One of my exes has even stayed at our house for a few days while he was here on a trip.
Just because something doesn't work as an intimate/love relationship, doesn't mean you stop caring about them as a person and a friend. If you really love and care for each other, both of you being happy as individuals is much more important than being in a relationship together.
I say no, especially if there are no children involved. I wouldn't want my significant other to feel insecure.
I do not understand why it would be strange for ex's to be friendly and/or friends. Doesn't it really just depend on the cir***stances? When you share children, it's inevitable that you are going to come into contact with one another. And why should children be forced to feel awkward about their parents? I'm not suggesting you hang out and stuff but I think kids rally appreciate it when their parents act like grown-ups... Maybe you're not with that person anymore but at some point you loved them enough to have a child with them, so you should be able to be friends at the least.