Expert Advice: If You're in an Abusive Relationship

I want to first start by saying it takes a lot of courage to speak out about domestic violence victimization. Its personal, it’s something most of us would like not to admit to. I have to say that I found the show somewhat disappointing. It astonishes me when there is surprise in the audience and by Anderson when the woman discloses her love for her abuser. One thing i have found over the course of time teaching criminal justice courses and speaking in public about my experiences with domestic violence is that there are certain parts about this type of relationship that cannot be understood by anyone else but survivors. I believe that the audience gets caught up in those feelings of “love”, “dependency” and loses sight of what is actually important. See...those in the audience and the viewers at home are likely to dismiss this experience, because she is obviously different than them. The general public is likely to find little in common with the woman who has had a face transplant and still loves her abuser. Although they may find compassion in their hearts they are unlikely to see how this can possibly happen to them or to a loved one. The truth is she was speaking the truth for all of us, just not one people are likely to embrace. The difficult part with domestic violence is talking about it honestly, openly without judgment on the victim, especially when the victim happens to say something we consider to be incongruent with the events that took place. No one is going to able to create change until we can openly speak about the truths and not have the taken back looks on people’s faces.